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Your Friendly Neighborhood Activist

5/7/2017

12 Comments

 
Picture
A timely quote, courtesy of Lily Tomlin

There, I did it again.
 
And once more, I couldn’t help myself.
 
I put on my community activist hat and went about correcting a wrong that needed to be righted.   
 
Maybe I got involved because I’m a journalist. Then again, it might be because I’m nosy (something, by the way, that all great reporters are). In every instance, it’s also because the issue at hand is one that has just rubbed me the wrong way.  So, probably, it’s all of these reasons that make me want to act.  
 
My latest personal crusade involved our town’s largest supermarket, a place where nearly everyone who lives here
buys groceries. 
 
I used to love the genteel mustached man who managed the store, but ever since he retired a couple of years ago, I began to question the decisions of its new manager.
 
This came to a head about six months ago, when I saw that the market was allowing a young teenager—one from at least 100 miles away—to stand right next to the entrance from early morning to nighttime.
 
This girl was collecting cold, hard cash for a group, she said, that helps wayward kids in trouble.  But, I’m familiar with this particular organization, and know that instead, it’s run by an extremely fundamentalist church which also practices gay conversion therapy.
 
When I complained to the manager, she told me, “My hands are tied.  There’s nothing I can do.  They filled out an application and it was approved by the district office.” 
 
Over several weeks, I continued to press her about allowing this organization to collect money.  After a while, she grudgingly told me I might contact the store’s corporate office.  So, I sent an email, but after two months, still hadn’t received a response (I’m nothing if not patient).  I was finally able to ferret out a complaint line number—it was well hidden within the company’s very large website, but this wily girl clown found it.    
 
By this time, I hadn’t seen the “we help teenagers” girl for a while, but now there was a new person, also from out of the area and also right at the entrance, soliciting funds to supposedly help hungry children in Africa. (Nope, I’d never heard of this organization, and had also never seen this person in our small town.)       
 
Thankfully, the customer representative I finally spoke with (somewhere in Ohio, I think) was on my side. 
 
In fact, right then and there while I was put on hold, she called the store manager, and told her that no soliciting was allowed, period.  I hadn’t known this, and now realized that the manager had lied to me from the get-go. There had been no forms that had been filled out and there had been no district go-ahead.  
 
A day later, the hungry children guy was still out front, so I decided to nicely ask the manager why she wasn’t adhering to her employer’s policy.  (I also asked friends on Facebook what they thought about these solicitors. They were unanimous in saying they hated them.  Many added that seeing someone standing next to a grocery store door with the sole purpose of collecting money crossed a personal boundary.)
 
I tried to be civil, but the manager was combative.  “I chose to break the rules,” she said, trying to stare me down.  “He seemed like a nice person, so I’m letting him stay.”    
 
As I continued to press her, she continued to say she had made the conscious choice to go against her employer’s corporate guidelines.  After a few minutes—perhaps she realized that I wasn’t going away—she then said that I had
now given her no other option.  Now, I was “forcing her to choose,” so, thanks to me, there would be no more solicitors out front. 
 
The man currently outside, she added, would be gone the next day. 
 
I went on to explain I was more than fine with local non-profits out front.  Girl Scouts could still sell cookies, or a nearby high school music booster club might promote raffle tickets.  In my book, service clubs like Rotary, Kiwanis and Lions are also A-Okay.  In fact, groups like this help to bond communities.  (Additionally, these folks have never gotten in anyone’s face.  They’ve always set up a table near, but never at, the front door.) 
 
No deal, said the manager. 
 
Thanks to my incessant complaining, she continued, there would now never be anyone out front again, ever.  I thanked her for following her store’s policy, but she had to get the last word in.  As she walked away, she turned around and snarled, “And, that is unfortunate.”  
 
I can take it, because it has now been more than a month since that encounter, and I haven’t noticed anyone from any shady organizations at the market doors.  Also, whenever I’ve run into the manager—both of us knowing that someone from the corporate office had a very firm conversation with her—she is polite. 
 
Hello, small victory.
 
I’ve had a handful of other forays into neighborhood activism. 
 
None were planned.
 
In fact, the first issue was tackled only because it was a business right down the street from the yoga studio I attend. 
 
Housed in a strip mall, this enterprise advertised massages for insanely low prices.  The blinking neon sign beckoning customers also flashed well after nine o’clock, which is essentially when our sweet little beach town rolls up
its sidewalks.  Something seemed off, but when I next heard a few people saying they knew customers who had
received “happy endings” there (www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Happy%20ending), I decided
it was time to dust off my hat.
 
The dry cleaner next door more or less admitted that she knew what was going on, but said her parents owned the property and couldn’t speak English well enough to understand what to do.  I knew that was utter poppycock, so took a next, bigger step: contacting our sheriff.
 
Detectives there had also heard the rumors.  At the same time, I was able to get about three dozen neighbors to write letters about their concerns.  It took a while, but in less than a year, the massage parlor moved to a different part of town, in a lightly trafficked area rather than the main corridor where it had been located. 
 
Then, a couple of years after this, I spearheaded the move to get a nearby abandoned house condemned.
 
A fire department captain understood my concerns, and helped me bring this sorry house—uninhabited except by rats and other vermin for close to two decades—to the attention of county officials.  Consequently, the absentee owner was ordered to pay all sorts of government fines.  At about the same time, I went on a local TV news broadcast to complain about the piles of nasty trash the owner was now leaving in the driveway in his attempt to get all of his things out.  But shortly afterwards, he sold the place to some flippers, who redid it quickly in order to make a quick sale. 
 
This “project” took well over a year, but it was well worth it: the house always had good bones, and it’s now completely renovated.  It’s a pleasure to stroll by and see lights on; hear music playing, and know a family has brought it back to life.
 
I’m not wearing my neighborhood activist hat at the moment.   But because I’m always ready to do so, and because I also always feel compelled to try and make the world a better place, I’m pretty sure that there will always be a bit of Don Quixote in me. 
 
I certainly can’t undo every wrong, and I certainly can’t bring justice to the entire world. 
 
But, I can do my best to change a corner of a corner of a corner. 
 
Especially in these unsettling times, that’s good enough for me.
 
Have you ever tried to right a wrong?  I look forward to your stories and comments!  
12 Comments
Larry Grant
5/7/2017 04:17:02 pm

I am a very proud husband!

Reply
Hilary Grant
5/7/2017 04:31:19 pm

LOL! You have kept your promise to never tether me, although sometimes I wonder if you knew what you were getting into. xo

Reply
Jerry Lazar
5/7/2017 08:29:34 pm

We're so overwhelmed by incivilities & indignations these days, with the social fabric having been shredded beyond recognition, that after a while fatigue sets in, and we are tempted to throw up our hands in despair & resignation... At the same time, we have to wonder whether it's always been this way and we're just more aware of it thanks to social media -- and/or whether social media is just helping bring out the worst in folks whose manners, not to mention moral compass, need major rejiggering... Some days feel so assaultive you want to just bar the doors, paint the windows black, power down your devices, and curl up in a fetal position till all the yucky stuff drifts away... But then we realize that ain't gonna happen without counteraction, even if that means simply setting good examples and calling out BS when you encounter it -- and being persistent enough to eradicate it... So kudos & gratitude to you for stepping up and doing your share and then some... The key is "baby steps" (kaizen) ... When we're confronted with such a massive canvas of awfulness on an hourly basis, we need to not lose sight of the fact that, when it comes to redesigning & repairing the world (tikkun olam) , every little brushstroke counts -- so thanks for reminding us, by example, how we can each do our part, even by painting a corner of a corner!... It all adds up... It all matters...

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Hilary
5/7/2017 08:55:31 pm

Thanks for the thanks! You've brought up a number of good points in your comment. First, there are people who are simply apathetic. This is often how they were raised--taught that it's just not important to get involved, and not important to stay engaged. Sadly, I know more than my share of these folks. It steams me, to be honest. But, so many other people I know have so much piled on their plates these days, with so many of those plates already so precariously balanced, that taking any more on is simply... too much to bear. So, while everyone I asked was bothered by the new store manager's policies, people were just too harried, too beaten down, too TIRED, to do much except ignore the shady solicitors at the grocery store door. Likewise, the abandoned house had been abandoned YEARS before I ever moved here, and while neighbors would complain to neighbors, no one knew exactly how to remedy the situation. One neighbor once called the sheriff's office; a dispatcher told her there was nothing criminal going on in the house, so law enforcement couldn't do anything. I was the person who thought of the environmental aspect first, then followed that idea, but really, it took MONTHS before anyone paid attention to me. I knew I had to keep going once I routinely saw RATS scampering inside, walking the window sills. Re: the massage parlor, it was just so obvious. I also knew of Asian women who were being trafficked in our area at the time, and I knew--having a daughter adopted from China--that if I did nothing, and found out that some of the women working there were there against their will... I knew I couldn't live with myself. In every case, I received BS excuses and dismissals, and in every case, I persisted, even though often, I was taking baby steps. But, I was going in the right direction! And yes, in the end, it **all** matters... it **all** counts... every single act, every single deed. :)

Reply
leslie spoon
5/9/2017 08:35:22 am

Hilary I was very happy when the trash house down the street got cleaned up because of you!!!!!!

Reply
Hilary
5/9/2017 04:19:50 pm

I just stuck to it, and was lucky enough to find a fire department captain who "got" it. :) I also never give up unless I'm absolutely forced to.

Reply
George Marshall link
5/9/2017 01:22:33 pm

Good work Hilary.
I am always impressed when somebody designates themselves as 'the' somebody, like a Rosa Parks who decided not to give up her seat on the bus. The consequenes of one small act can turn out to be very great indeed.

Reply
Hilary
5/9/2017 04:22:01 pm

Absolutely. Designating myself to be that little pebble that gets thrown into the pond--which then causes ripple after ripple after ripple--has sometimes gotten me into trouble. Crusading just... does. But for the most part, the end results have made it all worthwhile. :)

Reply
Tammy Dalcin
5/11/2017 07:32:37 am

Hilary i wish you lived here in Los Osos in the 70's . I don't know what your thoughts would have been anout the town needing a sewer, it was FREE back then.... now look at the mess we are in. If this town had a somebody as persistent as you back then , we would have had our sewer put in a long time ago without all the cost that we suffer from now.
Hilary thank you for being you. Wish there were more people like you, i love having a friend who can get things done and make a difference. Bravo!!

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Hilary
5/11/2017 10:34:39 pm

Aw, gosh. I'm blushing. Thank you! : )

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kerri
6/21/2017 09:09:46 pm

You are special- trying to help whenever you can. Good for you, and thank you! One time I anonymously called the police on the whereabouts of a lady I knew had not pd. a bill. A warrant was out for her arrest. Although I don't normally like to get involved in things like that, I just hated the injustice... the fact that she was able to get away with not paying for something she owed. I was so scared, but glad I did it.

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Hilary
6/21/2017 09:52:41 pm

OHHHH, that would make me mad, too! I got a ton of satisfaction during my years w/ Unsolved Mysteries... we caught a LOT of bad guys, thanks to a dedicated team, which included me. One was a baby killer and another was someone who raped a 12-year-old. If I see an injustice today, and it directly affects me, LOOK OUT.

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    Hilary Roberts Grant

    Journalist, editor, filmmaker, foodie--and a clown! 
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