Girl Clown Dancing is six years old this month.   
 
So, as I’ve done each February since 2016, here’s a roundup of my favorite GCD essays from the last year. Looking
back helps me remember where I was over the last 12 months; also, it’s a glimpse of where I might be in 2021.    
 
Not surprisingly, almost every post touched on COVID-19.
 
Of course, just like most folks on the planet last January, I knew nothing of the coming pandemic.
 
So, I wrote then about having to stop the yoga class I loved after one pose that screwed up my glut so severely
that I needed to go to urgent care (https://hilaryrobertsgrant.weebly.com/blog/hip). (Initially, I thought I’d
injured my hip; hence, the post’s title.)
 
I took some time off and in early March, found a different teacher who had a gentler practice. I paid for a series
of classes, but my timing was lousy. A week later, the plague was official and as of this posting, the studio
remains closed. 
 
However, and still blissfully unaware that the Hubster and I were going to be home a lot more, another purchase
was spot-on.
 
On an impulse, we bought an oversized puffy recliner not long after the glut incident, placing it in front of
our nearly floor-to-ceiling bay window. For a piece of furniture, it’s given us many hours of peace and
comfort (https://hilaryrobertsgrant.weebly.com/blog/reclining).
 
Also, like many folks who have found that spending time in the kitchen is cheaper than therapy, cooking and baking
old-timey favorites helped me cope.  
 
To that end, I wrote about the Zen that comes from making snowball cookies in March
(https://hilaryrobertsgrant.weebly.com/blog/snowballs); the nostalgia of whipping up a vintage, lime green Jell-O
salad in June (https://hilaryrobertsgrant.weebly.com/blog/jell-o), and finding the best carrot cake ever in a
most unlikely place in October (https://hilaryrobertsgrant.weebly.com/blog/carrot-cake).
 
There were somber essays, too.
 
May’s post is my take on a sermon from the Hubster’s pastor, first heard on a spring Sunday via Zoom. I knew
this piece probably wasn’t going to get the same number of views as my thoughts on snowball cookies, and
I was right. Now, I’m hoping more people might take the time to read it (https://hilaryrobertsgrant.weebly.com/blog/in-between-time). 
 
My final post of 2020 reviewed one of the worst years ever. And because there was a lot of not-great stuff to
cover, it's one of the wordiest posts of the year. (https://hilaryrobertsgrant.weebly.com/blog/2020).
 
On this topic, raconteur Mark Twain once wrote, “I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.” I concur; mindful wordsmithing that produces a just-right piece is absolutely more challenging to do than spilling out every thought about every little thing.  
 
So, a promise.
 
I’ll continue to do my best toward keeping a tight rein on posts, trying for 1,000 words or less.
 
Thanks for continuing to hang with this Girl Clown. 
 
Also, here’s to a year of great fortune, which includes wrangling a once-in-a-century pandemic that in one way
or another, has affected all of us. 

I’m not rich, but having a warming mattress pad makes me feel like I am.
 
Now, right at bedtime, I turn on a plastic dial near my pillow, which has heat settings between one and 20. A few minutes later, a perfectly even, toasty temperature has enveloped the sheets underneath me. The Hubster keeps an identical gauge, also close to his head, on number one. But since I’m always colder, I start at number 12 and during the night, work my way down to a four. 
 
In any case, I fall asleep, and stay asleep, a lot faster and a lot longer.
 
I never knew mattress warmers existed until well into adulthood.
 
This lack of information could be because I grew up in Southern California. In fact, I had no knowledge of flannel sheets until I was in my 30s. That being said, my mother did join the electric blanket craze when I was a teenager, buying a pastel one for each bed, then carefully packing them in their original boxes once spring came around.
 
Still, I never felt entirely comfortable using one. They absolutely kept me warm on top. But those fat coils full of electrical current also gave me a vague feeling that if I happened to turn around the wrong way in my sleep, I’d wake up on fire.
 
My first mattress warmer experience was a few decades ago.
 
I was spending an unusually cold night at a friend’s house in Hollywood, and slept in the guest bedroom with a twin
bed. When I got in, I immediately noticed how cozy and warm the bed felt. My friend explained that the mattress pad
was the warming kind, and that she had found it in a J.C. Penney catalogue. Also, she was from Canada, so knew
about such things.
 
I wanted my very own pad warmer after that, but considered it a luxury item because even the smallest one cost nearly $200. There was also the fact that I was a single mom then, and needed the money for other things like food and rent and diapers.   
 
Then, last year, we moved to Oregon.
 
This is a place, as my Ohio-born Hubster likes to say, with “real seasons.” What he means is this: winter brings snow; fall boasts gusty winds, and for at least three months of the year, freezing temperatures at night are the norm.
 
So, it was now an easy-peasy decision to invest in a mattress warmer because it had become a necessity. Another plus is that the price tag was considerably lower than when I’d last checked, with our purchase costing only a bit over $100.
 
As it turns out, getting a bed warm before climbing into one is a tricky issue that’s been around for a long time.  
 
In the Medieval era, a servant or woman of the house heated a stone or brick by the fire, then took it to bed. By the 1500s, a brass or copper warming pan shaped not unlike a large banjo hung by the hearth. At bedtime, hot embers from a woodstove were placed inside this contraption, and grabbing its long handle, were carried to sleeping quarters. There, sometimes in a zig-zag pattern, the person doing the warming started at the head of each bed, quickly rubbing the warmer in-between sheets.
 
When he was a small boy, my spouse remembers something similar.
 
He recalls visiting a very old great-great aunt and uncle who lived in upstate New York. The bed he slept in was made of feathers, and got warmed with a cast-iron version of the afore-mentioned shape. The sheets, he says, were perfectly heated when he climbed into them a moment later. 
 
Knowing how clumsy I can be, I’m grateful to live in a time where electric mattress pad warmers are available online. 
 
But if I was forced to, even knowing I might burn a few fingers along the way, I’d try to use an old banjo one.   
 
Because honestly, there’s nothing quite as wonderful as a warmed bed on a cold Oregon night.  

I think we can all agree that this has been A Year.
 
Mine began like most others, which meant hoping for a few hours of sleep before midnight.  
 
I knew the dogs were going to wake up soon, both of them frantically whining and running in circles because they couldn’t stop the gunshots that always start right before midnight. The next morning, I watched a replay of the Big Apple coming down in Times Square. 
 
Still, even then, my routine was off-kilter. 
 
I had severely stretched a glut muscle a few weeks before in a yoga class I loved. Classes were done for me, at least for a while, because the pain was so intense that I had needed a powerful shot and prescription strength pills to make it through the day.
 
Plus, I missed the Hubster. 
 
We had moved to Oregon six months before. But, my spouse also wasn’t ready to leave the band director and music teacher job in California that he loved. So we had made a deal. 
 
He found a small apartment; called every night, and promised to visit for long weekends and holidays every six weeks or so. Come summertime, the plan was that he’d give up his place down south and officially retire here.
 
But, teachers never stop teaching.
 
So, once relocated, the Hubster planned to mentor teenagers, especially those needing the steady hand of someone who has lived in their shoes. By Valentine’s Day, I had my own milieu, donating time at two grammar schools, where I read to at-risk students.
 
I loved the interaction and even though we weren’t supposed to accept hugs, sometimes, I did.
 
It was around this time that I saw a frightening post from a Facebook friend in Los Angeles.   
 
A teacher, she described suffering through the scariest respiratory infection she had ever had. She had gone to urgent care twice in one week, and the second time, was sent home with an inhaler and steroids. Doctors had no clue what the mystery illness might be.   
 
We know now it was probably COVID-19.
 
Other events caught our attention, of course. 
 
Donald Trump was impeached in Congress but acquitted by the Senate. Not long after, we learned he had known all along how dangerous and contagious the virus from Wuhan was going to be. Instead, choosing to “play it down,” he announced that the infection had affected only a few Americans and “like a miracle,” was going to go away soon.  
 
There were crazy wildfires in Australia, too, and later in the summer, millions of acres burned the West Coast. Citizens in the United Kingdom continued to fight over Brexit, and filmmaker Harvey Weinstein finally went to prison for rape.
Also, basketball legend Kobe Bryant perished in a helicopter crash, his teenage daughter beside him.
 
Then came what might be the biggest reckoning of the year.  
 
In May, 46-year-old George Floyd bought cigarettes at a convenience store with a $20 counterfeit bill. He was arrested by Minneapolis cops, who then chocked him to death. Worse, squeezing the last breath out of Floyd lasted for nearly nine minutes, all of it captured on cell phone video.  
 
While there were other killings of African Americans by law enforcement earlier in the year, and in previous years, too, this stayed with us.
 
Within a few days, and despite a raging pandemic, tens of thousands of people around the world took to the
streets, continuing their vigils into the summer and fall. And unlike the civil rights marches of the 1960s, a majority of
the protesters were white. Also, despite what some media outlets reported, more than 90 percent of the gatherings were peaceful.  
 
Hopefully, Floyd’s passing has marked the start of addressing the systemic racism that has always been a part of
our country.
 
Still, the virus was the headline.    
 
We wore masks, washed our hands and social distanced. Schools went online, which was difficult for teachers and parents, but even more so for children. The Hubster stayed here, teaching via Zoom, and also knowing he wasn’t going to return to California. Interacting with teenagers up here wasn’t about to happen anytime soon, either.   
 
For me, unhurried lunches with new friends and afternoon movie matinees stopped almost instantly. Yoga sessions and volunteer work halted, too.  
 
COVID-19 has put our lives on hold.
 
We definitely have what is called pandemic fatigue. We’re grumpy and we snap at each other. Nearly as often, we find ourselves both infuriated and frustrated when we hear about friends who, despite clear guidelines from the CDC, travel to other states for weddings and family get-togethers. Frankly, it’s exhausting.
 
Yet we’re lucky.
 
We have each other to hug. And, we’re able to pay our mortgage and put food on the table. 
 
But an astounding 22 million Americans have lost their jobs through no fault of their own, and 800 small businesses are closing every day. Food banks are running out of food, and more hospitals are at a literal breaking point, some having little or no available ICU beds or staff. As people lose hope, murders and domestic abuse and suicides are rising, too.  
 
Through it all, a good part of the country continues to move in the wrong direction.   
 
Three days after Christmas, 333,000 Americans have died from the virus, and almost 20 million of us have contracted it, sometimes leading to permanent organ damage. Equally unsettling, a disproportionate number of those affected are elderly, poor, and nonwhite. 
 
Still, there’s a glimmer of light.
 
Two COVID-19 vaccines, one from Pfizer-BioNTech and the other from Moderna, were approved for emergency use
by the FDA last month. In order to work, two shots must be administered 21 days apart, but together, the dosage has
an astounding 95 percent rate of efficiency. Politicians, health-care personnel and essential workers are the first getting immunized.   
 
At the same time, the vaccine isn’t a magic bullet. 
 
It works more like a dimmer switch, slowing the virus down until the contagion level has nearly vanished. We hope to be at the front of the line in March, but we also know that masks and distancing will be necessary for some time, perhaps most of next year.
 
I’ll take it.
 
Also, we’ll soon have a new President of the United States.
 
While Joe Biden wasn’t my first, second or even third choice, I’m thrilled with the team he is assembling.
 
He chose Kamala Harris, a woman of color, as his Vice President. And he has named Pete Buttigieg, my number one POTUS pick and openly gay, for a cabinet post, another first. Other Biden appointees also reflect the diversity of America, and all seem poised to take on global warming; public education, and our crumbling infrastructure in new ways.
 
I hope we never have another year as awful as 2020. 
 
Then again, I know that winter always turns into spring. 
 
We’re going to be okay.
      

This dark winter, I’m spending more time with words.
 
The extra alphabet wrangling began after remembering a secret drawer in the pine coffee table my late partner
had built years ago.
 
That table isn’t in our living room anymore, but has been put to good use in the bedroom for houseplants.  Here in
clay pots are yams with dozens of tangled tendrils; fragile lemon seed shoots which may or may not make it, and jade
and philodendron cuttings from California to remind me of where I came from.  
 
Directly underneath the plants is that hidden drawer, and that’s where I unearthed a forgotten and fat word
search puzzle book with only a handful of completed pages. 
 
The searches (also known as word find, word seek and wonder word) are set in square or rectangular grids, and most
are solved by circling words that read forward, backward, up and down, and diagonally, always in a straight line. 
Each puzzle also has a “spotlight” theme, which varies by book.  My book focuses on old movies and TV shows,
and is likely the reason I bought it. 
 
So, there are puzzles for the TV shows Happy Days and Thirtysomething and Sesame Street, and movies including The French Connection, The Way We Were and How Green Was My Valley.  A few singers are here, too, as well as directors and writers and bands.
 
I tackled only straight-line puzzles for years.  But then I got bored, so upped the ante with zig-zag problems, where each word has one bend in it, and then patchwords, with every word reading clockwise or counterclockwise around the edges of a square or rectangular box.  They’re more challenging but not so much that I give up.
 
And although I sold my first magazine piece in college, and think of myself as a word nut, I didn’t discover word search books until well until adulthood.  
 
Right away, though, their pages took me to a simpler and calmer space.
 
Especially this year, the puzzles kept my worried and COVID fatigued brain at bay, giving my head a bit more room for hope and optimism.  Also, it’s helpful for me to take out the book where and when I do: in our oversized puffy recliner and half an hour before bedtime.      
 
Perhaps surprisingly, word searches weren’t invented until the mid-1960s.
 
It was then that prolific Spanish hobbyist and puzzle writer Pedro Ocon de Oro came up with a word puzzle called
Sopa de Letras, or Soup of Letters, which morphed into the word searches around today.  But it was Norman Gibat,
from Norman, Oklahama, who has the distinction of printing the first English language word search. 
 
There’s even an exact date:  March 1, 1968.
 
That’s when Gibat’s small want-ad digest, distributed free to the local Safeway and other businesses, boasted a puzzle with the names of Oklahoma cities overlapping vertically, horizontally and diagonally. 
 
Gibat featured new search puzzles in later issues, and that’s when educators saw their potential value for classrooms.  Supposedly, one teacher sent Gibat’s puzzles to friends around the country and eventually, the idea of publishing a book made up of only word searches was born.
 
These days, I’m sure that most word search fans access puzzles on iPhones and computers, where they’re mostly free.  But for me, spending a few bucks to feel the book in my hands, along with a sharpened pencil and a good eraser always within reach, just feels better.
 
Plus, once I’ve finished a puzzle, I draw a happy face at the top of the page.
 

Carrot cake is my favorite cake.
 
And since I’ve long been a Cake Girl (as opposed to a Pie Girl or Cookie Girl, desserts that are both yummy, but nope, don’t hold a candle to cake), I’ve had more than a few decades to reach this conclusion.  This means that I’ve sampled thousands of slices of two and three-layer cakes, with a lot of frosting or just a little; sheet and Bundt versions, and even a few mixed together in a cast iron skillet.
 
I also bake from scratch.  So, when I talk about my most-loved cake, my point of view is of someone who knows that the finest ones never involve a mix and never skimp on ingredients. 
 
One terrific chocolate cake in my repertoire calls for a cup of strong coffee.  I’m also partial to my red velvet cake, a birthday favorite whose deep color goes hand-in-hand next to a perfect round scoop of vanilla ice cream. A few years ago I baked half a dozen classic white cakes in a row, including a Lady Baltimore, which has chopped nuts and raisins in the frosting.  But the Hubster’s tastes are more basic: a simple yellow cake with chocolate frosting is his choice.   
 
These are the kind of cakes in my mother’s cookbooks.  
 
But when I think about a carrot cake, I don’t remember ever seeing one in any book, much less on our kitchen cake plate.   
The Ohio-born Hubster swears his mom made them, but I don’t think the cake became popular in California, where I grew up, until the early 1970s.  Even then, they appeared exclusively at health food stores, although I also recall making my first one a few years later in college, baked in a rectangular Pyrex pan with just a bit of icing on top. 
 
But after my cousin make a birthday carrot cake for my daughter, I knew I had found The Best Cake Ever.
 
Her recipe, which instantly became mine, features two cups of freshly grated carrots and a small can of
crushed pineapple, which makes the cake super moist.  And like my red velvet cake, there’s no skimping on the
​cream cheese frosting.
 
Best of all, it’s a “dump cake.”  This means only a single bowl is required to make it, with each ingredient dumped one by one into the mixture until the batter is complete.  Wash the bowl while the cake is baking and voila, assembling the cream cheese frosting is done in the same bowl.
 
Then, a few weeks ago, my head and taste buds made an unexpected carrot cake turnaround.
 
I’d gone to an event at a park, and sitting on a picnic table was the biggest sheet cake I’d ever seen.  I assumed it was from a bakery, but in fact, it was from WinCo Foods, the largest supermarket around here and one I’m especially partial to because all of its 126 stores, located mostly on the West Coast, are employee owned.   
 
Still, I kept the bar low. 
 
I assumed this was going to be like any other supermarket cake I’d ever had, which is to say, dry and tasteless.  And when I saw it was a carrot cake, I knew, for sure, that compared to my dump cake I’d be underwhelmed.
 
Then I tried a slice.
 
Not only was the cake very fresh, there was a lot of visible grated carrot, chopped walnuts and even raisins.  It was also very dark and moist, which made me think that this recipe must also have pineapple. 
 
I later found out that unlike other markets whose cakes are assembled off site, WinCo cakes are made in-house with a 24-hour notice.  I also learned that I didn’t need to purchase a giant cake; I could order a quarter size sheet cake that measured nine by 13 inches.  And because it was a carrot cake, I also knew that I’d be able to divide it into individual servings that were going to freeze well.
 
Hubster picked up one about a week later and this one was just as yummy as the one I’d had in the park.  Plus, there was a lot of cream cheese frosting, which made the cake even higher than what is usually in a Pyrex dish the same size.
 
I don’t expect to start buying cakes from WinCo on a regular basis.
 
After all, I love to bake and I love to try new dessert recipes.
 
But if I’m in the mood for carrot cake, there won’t be any need to trot out my turquoise stand mixer or metal grater or glass measuring cups anymore. 
 
I’ll just call WinCo. 

Give a homeless person a home, and he or she isn’t homeless.
 
This idea has long been a no-brainer for me.  And as it turns out, it's also true.  

That's not just for Grants Pass, where we’ve lived for a year, but everywhere else, too. 
 
Of course, the devil is in the details—and because of those specifics, goes beyond coming up with a place to sleep.
 
Yet for decades, this is how our country has mostly dealt with our chronically homeless population.   
 
Often, this put-a-band-aid-on-it policy means that these underserved Americans (about 600,000 people on any given night) are afforded brief respites at warehouse-like facilities in neighborhoods where filth, poverty and crime rule.  Some towns, like ours, have places in nicer neighborhoods where they’re called “rescue missions” and are faith based.
 
They do meet an immediate need—somewhere to lie down; a hot meal, and bathroom facilities.  But at least here, there are ironclad rules: no pets, no guarantee about a room for the next night, and a requirement that everyone has to attend at least one religious service, and sometimes more, every day.
 
This isn’t a solution to homelessness. 
 
But there’s a better way, and it will be here soon.
 
It’s called transitional housing.
 
These communities are neither new nor radical. They began popping up in the United States in the early 2000s, and now include Quixote Village in Olympia, Washington; Community First in Austin, Texas, and Second Wind Cottages in Newfield, New York.  Most feature tiny modular homes, sometimes single or sometimes a duplex, usually with a front porch and big enough inside for a bed and bureau.  A small amount of monthly rent is required; pets are generally allowed, and residents vary from a handful to a few hundred. Some allow children and some don’t.  But everyone is carefully vetted before admittance.  
 
These enclaves are also much more cost effective than letting the homeless wander the streets. 
 
In fact, with increased time in hospitals, overnights in jail and emergency shelter, taxpayers fork out about $40,000
per year per homeless person. But with transition programs, lives are supported by offering homes that can cost as
little as $1,500. 
 
Those who live here can also breathe a sigh of relief—gone are worries about safety; belongings being stolen, or where to find shelter on any given night.  
 
But the real key to success is case management.     
 
So, each enclave also has a brick-and-mortar community center, where social workers, mental health professionals and counselors connect residents to opportunities previously impossible, such as job training; applying for veteran and food benefits, and how to obtain a GED. 
 
Additionally, each center has mailboxes; a kitchen and dining area, and bathroom facilities.  Community gardens are also common, with sweat equity mandatory.  Most residents take about six months to successfully transition to an off-site home and job, but no one is evicted if goals haven’t yet been met.   
 
Now, a tiny home community for the homeless is coming to Grants Pass.
 
It’s named Foundry Village after the street where it’s located.  And, despite the COVID-19 pandemic; a contentious election year, and raging fires in this part of the state, groundbreaking is slated to happen by the end of this year.  
 
I’d heard about this project when we moved here last summer.
 
But the Village had been stalled by red tape and city leaders who believed this sort of housing was going to cause home values to plummet (they haven’t in other communities); excess littering around the area (hasn’t happened), and increased noise complaints to police (that hasn’t occurred either). 
 
It took over a year, but once Foundry steering committee members presented accurate facts and figures to the powers blocking the idea, as well as offering tours of an established transitional community about 35 miles south, the project was green lighted.   
 
This kind of housing won’t work for everyone.
 
But the overall success rate stands at 60 percent, and given that many residents have been previously homeless for years, those are pretty good odds.
 
The Hubster and I feel strongly that Foundry Village has a place here.
 
So, to the extent that we can, we’re volunteering time to make it a reality.
 
Masked, socially distanced and outside, we work at a booth a few hours every Saturday at our local Growers’ Market.  There’s a one-gallon glass jar on the table for donations, but mostly, we offer information.  That means answering questions; giving out pamphlets, and reassuring folks that Foundry Village will be A Very Good Thing for Grants Pass.  
 
And perhaps surprisingly, except for one man early on, who grumbled that “at least now we’ll know where they all are,” we’ve received an overwhelmingly positive response.
 
For those who can’t pull themselves up by the bootstraps because they don’t have boots, we hope to give them the
shoes they’ll need.  
 
Find out more about Foundry Village at www.foundryvillagegrantspass.com/.
 

Thinking about COVID-19 makes me think about the Serenity Prayer.
 
The version most of us know goes like this.
 
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”    
 
Penned in the 1930s by Protestant theologian Reinhold Niebuhr (although some scholars think Niebuhr unwittingly claimed the words of others as his own), early versions mentioned Jesus Christ and a world of sin.  But in its modern form, this humble adage is a mere 25 words and mainstay at 12-step meetings, where it’s recited at the close of nearly every gathering.
 
The words are a perfect fit for those feeling powerless over an addiction.
 
Now, the Serenity Prayer is resonating with a new crowd.    
 
It’s speaking to Americans like you and me, people feeling helpless and hopeless over COVID-19—a virus so microscopic that millions can reside on the head of a pin, and still claim the lives of more than 181,000 Americans, so far.
 
That’s only one sobering statistic.  
 
We’re just six months in, but so many of us have gotten so very sick—nearly six million cases, which is close to three times the number of American casualties of the entire Vietnam War.  Public health officials also say that because of an acute shortage of trained contact tracers, the accurate number (which includes  thousands of children) is much higher.
 
There are those who haven’t caught the virus. 
 
But they, too, are victims of its consequences—a record loss of jobs, businesses and homes.
 
More than 40 million unemployment benefit claims have been filed, exceeding the jobless levels of the Great Depression.  Also, nearly 66,000 businesses have folded since March, and some 25 million Americans are in imminent danger of losing their homes in a few months.
 
I’ve accepted the fact that I can’t change these numbers.  
 
I also can’t change those who believe that the federal response to the pandemic is now "it is what it is," or follow
Donald Trump, a man who doesn’t read; surrounds himself with criminals, and has dozens of sexual misconduct
complaints against him, including two rapes.   
 
But I’m doing my best to muster the courage to change what I can.
 
A lot of this means checking my own behavior. 
 
So, Hubster and I always wear our cloth masks when we’re inside a store. There’s no dilly dallying either: we walk in with a list and get in and out as soon as we can.  And per CDC guidelines, we wash our hands with warm water and soap whenever we think of it; use hand sanitizer if that’s the only option, and practice social distancing.    
 
At the same time, we’re mindful about supporting local business.   
 
For us, that means dinner once a week at a family owned eatery, always going in the late afternoon when there are fewer diners, and always keeping our masks on except when eating.  We always leave more than a 20 percent tip, too, because we know that restaurants have had a particularly rough time. 
 
And while it’s harder to find volunteer opportunities right now, we have, aware that doing this isn’t only for others, but for our own well-being.   
 
In the last two months, we’ve sent hundreds of cloth and disposal masks to the Native American reservation in South Dakota which is so near to my husband’s heart, and which has been decimated by COVID-19.  And for two hours every Saturday, we’re at our nearby farmers’ market (masked and distanced) dispensing information about a tiny house community for the homeless that, despite the pandemic, will break ground next month.
 
For me, I've also committed to sending 100 letters with Vote Forward, a non-profit that reaches out to unregistered or low-propensity voters, urging them to exercise this most basic of American rights. And because I'm a big believer in the power of knowledge, I'll continue to post revelvant articles on social media—all from reporters and scientists and essayists whom I trust and respect.

While I know I can’t change anyone’s mind, maybe I can get some folks to pay attention.
 
I’ll keep praying for the wisdom to know what I can change and what I can’t.
 
I hope everyone else is doing the same.

COVID-19 has made my beauty routine a DIY adventure.  
 
Of course, this all began in March, when Life As It Used To Be turned topsy-turvy.   
 
Prior to that time— though only months ago, it feels like years—my vanity essentials had been covered for decades by professionals.  Really, I couldn’t imagine not going to a salon because their magic has always made me look and feel far greater than anything I might have attempted on my own.  
 
Getting my hair right is the most important. 
 
So, my tresses were colored once a month, courtesy of the only stylist in Southern Oregon who carried the identical organic line as my California hairdresser.  They also tinted and trimmed my brows and put fun colors on my bangs, including violet, blue and green, which made me look like the Girl Clown I’ll always be.  And, both waxed my upper lip, which needed attention every three weeks.  
 
Larger waxing needs—arms and legs—used to happen every six weeks at a Vietnamese owned salon, where efficiency was key. Here in Oregon, I found a thorough and speedy hairdresser who did the same.  After a sloppy bang trim from the organic stylist, this new waxer started cutting my hair, too    
 
Mani-peds were less frequent, every two months or until the gel polish on my toes had dulled and shrunk so much (thanks to new nail growth) that I couldn’t stand it anymore.   
 
So, even though I needed three separate folks to look my best, it worked. 
 
Then everything closed.
 
An ancient adage instantly came to mind: necessity is the mother of invention. 

But now, it wasn’t merely a sentence.  Now, it was a proverb that had to be put into action.
 
First up was asking the Hubster to color my hair. 
 
To say he was hesitant is an understatement, but I did my best to cheer him on.  After pinning up my locks in several places, then draping towels on the dining room floor and my shoulders and lap, we both read the package directions several times.  Finally, carefully putting on the thin disposable gloves that were inside the box, he began.  
 
My brave spouse has done the same thing three times now, and more than a few friends say that they prefer
the drugstore color over the salon look.  Also, he has trimmed my hair (which, thankfully, has no layers) and that
looks good, too.
 
Waxing was next, and it has been the most challenging. 
 
The big beauty supply store in town was also closed, so I ordered a starter’s waxing kit online.  I’d watched countless women over the years apply the sticky stuff and deftly strip it away, so I figured it couldn’t be difficult.
 
As it turns out, those folks only made it look easy. 
 
For whatever reason, my expertise at lip waxing isn’t bad.  But trying to do the same on my arms and legs hasn’t worked. I’ve made nasty adhesions by pulling the wrong way, or maybe using too much (or not enough) wax.  Worse, the wax gets everywhere.  Last week, a glob of it wound up in the washing machine.   
 
When I moaned about this online, a friend suggested Nair, the cream depilatory that made its debut in 1940.  I’d used this product in college and recalled the awful medicinal smell; also, it made my skin red and itchy.  But there are many updated versions out today, which depending on choice, boast nourishing additives with shea butter, Vitamin E and
baby oil. 
 
I chose the latter and it worked.  But I also know that the process was a success because after decades of waxing, the hair on my arms is thinner, and I have less of it, than when I was younger.  
 
The same goes for my legs, but I couldn’t get to the places I wanted to with depilatory.  That’s when the Hubster came to my rescue one more time.  He’s a member of Harry’s Club, which sounds like a strip joint but is a company devoted to superior shaving products.  Using a special pivoting Harry’s razor, along with the recommended aqua-colored shaving cream, my legs are now smooth.
 
Finally, I needed to figure out my nails.
 
My professional in this area texted me with instructions about how to remove the gel.  I gave it my all, taping large cotton balls on every toe, each soaked with industrial strength nail polish remover, for 10 minutes.  But the color remained.
 
Perhaps sensing my despair after reporting this failed effort, the expert arrived at my back yard.  There, both of us donning masks, I sat on a picnic chair while she squatted in front of me and vanquished the polish.  She has offered to return for a complete pedicure, but right now, I’m staying au natural.      
 
Here are three things I’ve learned by going DIY.
 
One, I’ve saved a ton of money, meaning, close to $800.  Two, perhaps the Hubster will consider a new calling in the world of hair color.   Lastly, while none of these routines has yielded professional results, they don’t look half bad.
 
Now, the question is this.
 
Once the pandemic has passed, will I ever return to a salon?
 
You bet.  

If you’re worried and weary, as so many of us are these days, make a retro Jell-O salad.    
 
Those of us who are baby boomers know this jiggly dessert was once as American as mom, apple pie and baseball.  Plus,
it was easy to make; cost pennies, and came in dozens of bright Technicolor flavors.
 
Of course, life in the ‘50s and early ‘60s wasn’t exactly a picnic either.   
 
We didn’t have a pandemic, but we had the Korean War and the Cold War.  On its heels was Joe McCarthy’s nasty
anti-Communist crusade and the blacklisting in Hollywood that followed; dangerous backstreet abortions, and only
the most rudimentary help for those battling mental illness.  And, even though there wasn’t a name for it,
systemic racism permeated everything.   
 
None of these events affected us.    
 
We spent summer days riding bikes and playing tag and hide and seek and Cowboys and Indians.  The phrase “play date” didn’t exist; we only knew that we had to be home in time for dinner.  Inside, in our dens and living rooms and bedrooms, knees touched as we played with Barbies and plastic horses and jacks and coloring books.  Saturday mornings were for watching cartoons on TV.

Now because of COVID-19, most of us are, and should be, very cautious.

At this writing, the virus has claimed 125,033 American lives and 495,000 deaths worldwide.  Twenty-seven states are seeing an increase in new cases, with Texas, California and Arizona reporting new record numbers.  Just as troubling, a growing number of those thought to have recovered are left with permanent and serious organ damage.

As for the Hubster and me, we’re doing our best to do everything right—wearing masks and socially distancing; washing our hands often, and getting outdoors for Vitamin D.

Luckily, leaving the house wasn’t necessary to make a Creamy Lime Jell-O salad.  
 
I chose this recipe because it felt nostalgic, bringing me back to the simpler times from my childhood.    
 
The lime really screamed the color lime, and besides, there was cream cheese and mayonnaise in the mix.  Three cans of fruit cocktail in heavy syrup (and as I remembered, still not enough cherries) and chopped pecans topped off the ingredient list. 
 
After finding the recipe, I started to wonder if other boomers recalled the Jell-O concoctions they loved from the time they were small.  So, I posed that question to a closed Facebook group I’m in, one where many of the members are about
my age.
 
The first reply came in less than a minute.  Ultimately, more than 200 folks posted their gelatin memories, including orange with mandarin oranges and pineapple chunks; strawberry Jello-O with 7-Up, and plain black cherry.  Some still served the family recipe, often featuring Cool Whip and walnuts.     
 
The lime salad I had called for a mold, but I had given mine away.  That meant the end result didn’t look nearly so fancy as the pictures accompanying the recipe.  My take ended up in a rectangular Pyrex dish, but I’m sure it tasted just as good.  In fact, it was probably better because I added a cream cheese/whipped cream frosting on top, and then garnished that with lime green sugar sprinkles.
 
Just looking at this creation made me feel a little bit happier, and eating it made me feel good, too.  Plus, it’s a lot cheaper than therapy, which I can’t go to now anyway.
 
What Jell-O salad do you remember from your childhood?
 
P.S. Here’s the recipe I used.  For extra flair, mix four ounces of softened cream cheese; a pint of freshly whipped cream, and half a cup of powdered sugar together.  Then, spoon and smooth on top of the salad.
https://homemadehooplah.com/creamy-lime-jello-salad/   
  

The pastor at my Hubster’s church is a world traveler named Chris Failla. 
 
And, a couple of weeks ago, Failla (pronounced FAY-la) had a few things to say about what’s happening right now.
 
He calls this the “in-between time.”
 
I’m not Christian.  But every Sunday morning at 10 o’clock, my spouse closes the door to his home office; powers up his laptop and logs onto Zoom, and takes part in a virtual hour-long service led by Failla.  
 
This one time, because I asked, the Hubster shared his notes with me.
 
Failla has a Master of Arts in Global Leadership from the esteemed Fuller Seminary, and spent years before that as a teacher and community organizer in China.  At this service, he compared the uncertainty of COVID-19 to a couple of Biblical events where folks were also “in-between”—forced to give up any semblance of control and expectations they thought they had.  One is Exodus, when the Jews wandered for 40 years before finding a home in Israel, and the other is Easter, right after Christ died but before rising from the dead.
 
Like then, it seems as if we’re neither moving forward nor backward.   Even though every state is allowing businesses to reopen, this time is still a waiting game.   
 
But we don’t know exactly what we’re waiting for, or for how long.
 
At the same time, it’s getting harder to remember what life was like a few months ago.   
 
It’s oddly quaint that at the beginning of this year, most of us left our homes every day, going to work or enjoying a long lunch, shopping with friends or catching a new movie.  But the merry skedaddling is gone, and now that the virus has claimed more than 100,000 lives in the United States, hoarding toilet paper and wearing pants with elastic waistbands isn’t as funny as it was a month ago.  
 
Maybe that’s why Failla talked about something else: this “in-between time” can’t be wasted. 
 
So, while recognizing that our days and nights are absolutely scary and difficult and sad and uncertain, Failla has also decided to view the COVID-19 pandemic as an opportunity for reflection.
 
To this end, Failla created four “What?” questions things to ask ourselves right now.  Answering them has helped me recognize my priorities, and might allow others do the same.  
 
Here they are.  
 
What am I happy to be free from?
 
I hate getting up early.
 
But most of my career required being a morning riser, and when I lived in New York City, that meant waking up very early since every weekday, I washed and blow dried my hair; applied full makeup, and tugged panty hose on before taking the subway from Brooklyn to Manhattan.   
 
I haven’t done this in decades, but right before the virus hit, I was up most days around 7 a.m.  
 
Twice a week I volunteered at two grammar schools, where I read one-on-one with about a dozen children, most of whom had no one at home to do the same.  I also took a morning yoga class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I wasn’t lounging around those mornings.  And, a few days before the shelter at home order hit, I registered voters for the first time in front of the town post office. The Friday a.m. shift was the only one open.
 
I want all of these activities back sooner than later.
 
For now, though, I’m happy to be free from alarm clocks.
 
What am I missing?
 
I’m missing the freedom to be free. 
 
This includes not having to think about running to the market for a few items needed for dinner; strolling through thrift stores and estate sales for vintage cake plates, Pyrex and table clothes, and having my hair professionally cut and colored whenever I want.
 
I’m missing that my daughter isn’t able to hop on a plane from California, and vice versa.
 
I’m missing that I can’t drive to the nearest beach to feel the waves on my feet and wriggle my toes in the sand. 
Until further notice, that part of the coastline is closed.
 
Unlike so many, I’m blessed to have a partner to cuddle and hug.  But being unable to touch anyone else is
​increasingly difficult.
 
Also, I miss breathing without a mask.   
 
What matters more?
 
Friends and family have always been important, but now, there’s a greater need, even an ache, to connect with more of them, and more often.
 
What matters less?
 
For years, keeping a daily schedule, even in my head, was important because I like having a certain cadence and order to my days.  If I didn’t get everything done that I’d planned, I’d berate myself for wasting time. 
 
But time is different now. 
 
While it isn’t easy breaking this old habit, I’m trying to give myself wiggle room if everything on my list doesn’t get done.  This means more living in the moment and more appreciating what I do have.
 
Which “What?” questions are calling to you, and how will you answer them?