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Vanities

1/10/2016

20 Comments

 
Picture
I’m not vain. 
 
At least, I don’t think so.
 
After all, it takes me more than a year to use up a small container of foundation, and there are perfectly good eye shadows, each and every one a few decades old, stashed in a bathroom drawer.  I’m not big on perfumes or jewelry either, although baby powder and my engagement and wedding rings are always on my person.
 
And when it comes to apparel, forget high fashion, because oversized sweats and fluffy socks are this girl clown’s wardrobe of choice.  Indeed, if I could, I’d be like Hugh Hefner in this one way:  I’d wear pajamas all day,
every day.   
​ 
And yet.
 
Like my mother, I started going grey in my mid-30s, and unlike my mother, I decided to do something about that right away.  As thrifty as I am, at-home products never did the trick (there will be no mention of my brief and disastrous flirtation with henna), so I faithfully began seeing a hairdresser to return my tresses to their original color.
 
These visits were once every six weeks, but the last few years have seen me in a stylist’s chair, like clockwork, every month.  I also go for straightening as needed (organic products have made this much less damaging than even a decade ago), mainly because I hate my naturally curly hair.  (I know, I know.  We always want what we don’t have.  But in this case, I can have it.)  
 
The dreaded W word—waxing—is also in my world. 
 
In fact, in spite of the pain, I actually look forward to going from hirsute to smooth in a few hours. 
 
It started with an upper lip swipe, and soon escalated to using the hot syrupy stuff to shape my eyebrows.  Then, after decades of shaving—with that added reward of little cuts from the dainty pink razor—I decided to get my legs waxed.  After that, it was easy to move on to the dark hair on my arms, which I had previously bleached.  For those missed spots, tweezers remain my handy dandy friend. 
    
Manicures and pedicures are in the mix, too.     
 
When I was a little girl, the only folks who indulged in this luxe pampering were movie stars and those with a lot of discretionary income. But after Vietnamese owned and operated salons began popping up in the mid-‘80s, there was no going back. In fact, during the years I worked in the entertainment business in Beverly Hills and Hollywood, getting a $20 mani-pedi wasn’t an indulgence, but a regular every-other-week outing. Today, I go every six weeks or so, paying a cost-efficient $35.    
 
I shudder to think about what would I look like, and what would happen to me, if I didn’t stick to these routines. 
 
Let’s just say it isn’t pretty.
 
Within eight weeks, maximum, you’d see a cranky woman with frizzy grey hair, boasting a furry unibrow, visible mustache and not-so-polished chin.  My nails and toes would certainly be ragged, as well as visibly chipped with nasty old polish.  Previously hairless arms would fast be making up for lost time, as would my legs. 
 
In other words, I’d look exactly like a bag lady, minus the bags.
 
But it’s only outward appearance, right?
 
Wrong.
 
According to a 2008 University of Pennsylvania article in Penn Current, one of that college’s publications, there’s strong evidence that those who take care of how they look also feel better about themselves. 
 
In other words, looking one’s best is a huge confidence booster. 
 
Consequently, and I’m pretty sure this isn’t just me, I believe that this ego shot can translate into wanting to be the best we can be in every aspect of our lives.  Other studies back this up, concluding that looking good can also make you more persuasive; raise your salary up to 10 percent, and even amplify how others see your accomplishments. 
 
For me, those conclusions also indicate that you’ll also want to perform to peak capacity at a job, or aim for higher grades in school, or try to engage in a healthier lifestyle.   Case in point:  I won’t go on a job interview, or even meet a new friend, unless I’m looking my best, because I know I’ll also be feeling my best.
 
Since being polished gives me this brighter perspective, I don’t look down on those who choose plastic surgery either.     
 
If someone is going to feel better about himself/herself once their eyelids are lifted, or after a crooked nose is straightened, who am I to judge?  After all, isn’t coloring my hair, waxing regularly and keeping my toenails just so only a less intrusive version of this?  
 
Given everything that most of us do to look good, does this mean that our society is wildly superficial, and ignores what we’re like on the inside?
 
The answer, at least from this arena, is a big fat no. 
 
That’s because feeling happier and more confident when you look good is only one positive consequence of a regular beauty routine.  
 
The other, and it’s an important one, is this: taking care of ourselves makes for a significant domino effect that boosts the economy—to the tune of a whopping $426 billion per year. 
 
Yup, Huffington Post says that’s the total that women in the United States spend on beauty products in a 12-month period.  In addition, InStyle  magazine reports that in 2013, women used about $15,000 on beauty products in their lifetime (this actually seems low).  Adding to that figure, the online publication Jezebel  says that the average woman’s health and personal hygiene budget rings up to about $2,000 every year.   
 
The consequence of putting that kind of major cha-ching out into the world is definitely not a bad thing, especially if those products and services come from local, family-owned businesses. 
 
Case in point:  my hairdresser, who is a one-woman enterprise, sees about 150 clients per month.  I happen to know that nearly all of her clients’ payments  go right back into our little town—whether it’s food for her family; gas for her car, or fees for her son’s community college education.  I also buy organic Epson salts and lavender (essential for my nightly baths) from a unique herbal/spice store down the street, and part of what I give its hands-on creator goes toward hiring kids who live here, who also spend their paychecks here.     
 
And while my nail/waxing place is a 20-minute drive, here, too, it’s a small operation.  The long hours put in by the Asian couple who run it use a decent chunk of money they earn to send their two small children to an adjacent private grammar school.  Those fees help pay teachers’ salaries, and also give financial aid to those who can’t afford full tuition. 
 
My final point? 
 
I’ve decided that it’s more than okay to be vain. 
 
Even if I’m really not.   
 
What’s your beauty routine, and what benefits do you get from it?  I’d love to hear from you!
  
20 Comments
Larry Grant
1/10/2016 03:45:43 pm

No "beauty routine" here. As husband to this writer though, she does feel better about herself. That makes her happy which makes me happy. She takes good care of herself and looks at least 20 years younger than the calendar says she is.

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Hilary
1/10/2016 04:31:48 pm

Thank you. The magic of a GREAT hairdresser, good lighting and VERY lucky genes. :) xo

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Jerry link
1/10/2016 06:18:03 pm

Today I saved $150 on a shirt at Nordstrom's. How? By not buying it! That's my fashion secret. My beauty secret is identical -- every year I save a fortune! The key for me is to never look in the mirror! ...

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Hilary
1/10/2016 09:50:10 pm

I once heard a comedian talk about his morning routine. Basically, jump in the shower, get out, shake himself like a dog to get rid of the excess water, and out the door. Hubster is pretty close to this!

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Sally Evenson
1/10/2016 09:34:11 pm

As another potential bag less bag lady, my stylist is on speed dial. I have reached the age in which the facial hair MUST be waxed every 4 weeks or else I could be a stand in for Bigfoot. I thought at my age, the hair growth would slow down but it has gained momentum and started growing at all angles. If I don't keep my eyebrows neat I could stab someone when going in for a kiss. I hope the women that are spending all the money on their beauty products are happy with themselves and doing it because they want to, not because they feel they need to for other people.

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Hilary
1/10/2016 09:52:18 pm

Yes, the leg hair growth has slowed down but those follicles are asserting themselves in other areas big time, namely, upper lip and chin. I have my routine because it makes me feel better about myself. When people notice, that's great, but the bottom line is that I do it all for me. :)

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leslie spoon
1/11/2016 08:22:20 am

Hilary A hair cut makes me feel good every month. I also use a good face cream.

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Hilary
1/11/2016 08:45:51 pm

I feel the same way after my monthly color. And I love using Burt's Bee rosewater toner... for "mature skin." :)

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Susan Jordan
1/12/2016 03:10:52 am

I decided to go blonde in 2005, and I've never looked back. (I was blonde when I was little, but as with many other folks, it darkened a little to medium brown over the years.) This last time at the salon, I reluctantly let the esthetician do my eyebrows. One time before, a long time back, a younger one had thinned them almost into oblivion, and I didn't want that to happen again because, at my age, I had (have) good reason to believe they won't grow back. Well, this one (Kelly Jordan at Robyn Michael Salon in Northridge) shaped them spectacularly! I couldn't believe how good they looked. She also dyed them AND my eyelashes, and let me tell you - that is a treat! I walked out of there feeling like a million bucks. I started going gray at age 21 (very, very slowly at first, but still), so by now, my personal motto has become "Out With The Silver And In With The Gold"! It takes about 2.5 hours every 6-8 weeks (I really should go closer to every 6), but my stylist (Ruben Mejorado at the same salon) is a true artista, and worth the 25-mile trek. As far as waxing parts other than brows...no comment. :D

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Hilary
1/12/2016 07:00:43 am

I *love* your "out with the silver and in with the gold" motto! I, too, get my eyebrows tinted when I get my color done. It looks terrific for about a week and then begins to lose the color, what with having to uh, wash my face! I can also relate to the "bad eyebrows" story... When I lived in Hollywood, my Vietnamese manicurist assured she could wax my eyebrows. I went into her "little back room" and there was no wax, just her and the tweezers. She went NUTS on my eyebrows and they ended up looking a bit like Jean Harlow's. Flipped me out and I thought they would never grow back. They did, of course, but rest assured that I never went into the back of her place again. :)

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Tammy Dalcin
1/12/2016 07:58:23 am

When I was young looking good was all about trying to impress the opposite sex. Well of course putting makeup on was fun too.
At the age of 15 my mother decided to take my girlfriend and I to a Merle Norman store located down town San Luis Obispo. I was so excited! Having my makeup put on by a professional made me feel like a movie star! In reality my mother just wanted to make sure that I learned how to apply my makeup so I didn't look like the corner street hooker.
That experience made me realize how much I loved the beauty industry. I felt so good that day when the lady did my makeup and it brought out all my good features. She said I had beautiful eyes and cheek bones. I thought at that moment I would love making people feel good about themselves, more confident and ready to face the world!
Well at almost 50 years old now, and being in the beauty industry for over half my life (28 years to be exact) I have to say I love my job.
I myself, have stopped wearing makeup and let my hair go 100% natural. I have plenty of those shiny silver hilights. I am enjoying every one of them. I am grateful for my clients that choose to color their hair or have perms and straightening done. This is my lively hood and my clients are so special to me. Some have even become personal friends of mine.
So I guess I have to tell you my personal vanity/ necessity..... Waxing for sure. I have uper lip hair and I like my eyebrows shaped.
I really don't care if my clients come to me in vain or they just need a pick me up. What it comes down to is making sure my clients leave the salon with a smile!

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Hilary
1/12/2016 09:47:07 am

Your mom was SPOT ON in taking you to get makeup put on by a professional. I never had that opportunity, I remember just wearing shadow and finishing powder on my face, and wondering why it looked "off" -- DUH! And of course, this was long before I could go on the Internet and get a tutorial. Katie has been wearing makeup since about age 15 and thanks to friends and the web, does a beautiful job. It's SO obvious that you love what you do, too.. it shows with happy clients and the wonderful energy in the salon. And oh, those silver highlights look fabulous on you! :)

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Kim Fonturbel
1/12/2016 08:35:00 am

Nutrition is huge for me in this department. When I'm faithful with my fruit smoothies with deep colored berries and dark green spinach-my hair stays dark brown. When I veer off into holiday chips&dip and neglect my smoothies, within days my hair becomes dry and light brown. If I've had a lot of fatty foods 'lately', I do a shot of olive oil and lemon juice with a bit of water to help clean my liver. I drink a lot of water. I don't drink soda at all. I don't drink alcohol at all. I put importance on sleep. I move; not at a gym but I hustle 5 full laundry baskets a day, a couple loads of dishes, incoming-stuff sorting, all of which takes several hours a day-which I absolutely adore doing-no joke. Keeping a tidy house is like putting a puzzle back together. I wish I liked to cook but I'd rather mow the lawn (instant pretty!) than cook a meal-which makes a mess. Laughing and time with girlfriends are a big part of my 'beauty' routine. Try Stephen Colbert's "confessions" on U tube for a laugh. Thanks Hilary!

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Hilary
1/12/2016 02:06:04 pm

You've made an important point: if you're not moving, and not eating right (or at least TRYING to do one of these things on a semi-consistent basis) you're not going to feel good--no matter how much expensive makeup you put on, and how many times per month you color your hair. think this is especially true as we age. :)

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Kari Schultz Century 21 Hometown Realty SLO
1/12/2016 05:17:11 pm

Wow! As usual I love your eloquence. I do mani/pedi's and waxing but I do not do much more than that. But I love Kim's point on eating right and getting enough exercise and sleep. I do think we need to take care of our whole body including the spiritual side too. After all God is my strength through it all.

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Hilary
1/12/2016 10:32:31 pm

I've made a strong attempt to eat better this year, and it has paid off. I have more energy and am just... clearer. Sleep is more difficult as I get older, but the more well rested I am, the better I operate, so to speak! And yes, the spiritual side is important to me, too, although it's not what I think of as part of my beauty routine. :)

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kerri
1/22/2016 01:03:10 pm

I get up early to do my makeup and hair for work. I don't remember if it was "look 1% better" or "1% less than your client"... either way, I think the point is to look good at work. I do my best- I have even started doing my nails! The last time I did my hair at a salon was a disaster, and I paid alot, so that was a bummer. A fluke, though. I will just have to try a different salon. I like the stat. you included- 10% increase in income? Nice!

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Hilary
1/24/2016 08:12:15 pm

The days of putting on makeup every day for work are over for me, because the kind of work I do (in the classroom) doesn't really call for it. But in a sales position, absolutely. And when I lived in NYC, it was makeup every single day at whatever job I had. I'm glad that's all over! ps. Talk to Tammy about your hair... she is my miracle worker!

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Jackie
2/15/2016 04:58:16 am

What I can't figure out is that as we age, why do we grow more hair on our extremities as opposed to our heads? HA! I have to save up money before visiting my hair salon, but nothing compares to walking out of there, feeling like a million bucks. I will never forget trying out some cosmetics at the local Sephora, with the help of one of their makeup stylists. After walking out, two different guys, younger than me (in different parts of the mall) struck up conversations with me! Self-confidence is the best beauty product of all! 😊

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Hilary
2/15/2016 12:56:59 pm

You're right on target. My self confidence shoots up a few notches every time I leave my hair stylist... because, looking good outside does a whole lot to make us feel good INSIDE. And BOTH are equally important when navigating this wide world of ours.

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    Hilary Roberts Grant

    Journalist, editor, filmmaker, foodie--and a clown! 
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