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Sundays with The Grants

6/11/2016

10 Comments

 
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​Sunday dinner is a Very Big Deal around here. 
 
And if you don’t mind some UGA—Unsolicited Good Advice—you should feel the same. 
 
First, since this end of the week day isn’t usually a workday, it’s always nice if the meal is a bit more special than Monday through Friday fare.  Given that The Hubster is Midwest born and raised, I’m lucky in that he’s not into fancy-schmancy entrees. So, there’s often a slow cooked roast with gravy, along with a fresh veggie on the side.  Sometimes I’ll add what used to be called the starch portion—potatoes, rice or pasta.    
 
It’s not surprising that I love these dinners because I enjoy cooking them, and even more, eating them.
 
But that’s not really why I do it.
 
I do it because what’s on our plates doesn’t really matter.
 
Way more essential is the tradition itself—the consistency, and positive consequences, of a communal dining experience with those we love.    
 
These days, of course, that picture doesn’t look anything like Leave it to Beaver or the Saturday Evening Post magazine covers that Norman Rockwell painted.  But who cares?
 
Whatever one’s definition of family is, it’s the time to put away all electronic devices; sit down at the table as a united, we’ve-got-your-back unit, and discuss the past week and the upcoming one.  Heck, it may even be the place to bring up future dreams, hopes and desires.  
 
I recently asked about Sunday traditions on one of those what-our-childhoods-were-like Facebook groups that I belong to, and in fact, coming together played a big part. 
 
Lots of fellow baby boomers remembered going to church in the morning and then eating out at the same restaurant every week. Another wrote fondly of parents inviting the family pastor and his wife over, with a lavish spread of comfort food fit for a king.  
 
“Mama would fix pot roast, bake a ham and fried chicken,” she wrote. “Then there would be mashed potatoes and gravy; sweet potatoes and green beans, and candied carrots.  For dessert, my daddy’s favorite, a chocolate cake, and for us kids, coconut and banana cream pies. I guess Mama was afraid someone would get up from the table hungry.”
 
As it turns out, these feel good memories are way more than that. 
 
In fact, according to a 2015 Washington Post article by Anne Fishel, co-founder of The Family Dinner Project (http://thefamilydinnerproject.org/), breaking bread together is one of the very best things parents can do for their children.  
 
For wee kidlets, Fishel says that dinnertime conversations actually boost their vocabulary by leaps and bounds.  In fact, these children picked up an average of 1,000 rare words around the table, compared to just 143 from mom or dad reading books out loud.  Teens also benefit from regular family meals: Fishel adds that those who eat together at least three times per week are twice as likely to score A’s in school as those who don’t. 
 
And because most families no longer farm together; play musical instruments on the porch, or host quilting bees, American teens also say the most likely place to talk to their parents today is at dinnertime.  As a result, these same adolescents are likely to have less stress, and better communication, with their mothers and fathers.
 
Coming together can also be enormously satisfying even after the kids leave home. 
 
One friend with a 20something daughter told me that she has decided to return to the Sunday magic she knew as a child. 
 
“Now in the time of texts, emails and Facetime, I want to sit across the table from my daughter and listen to her tell me about her week,” she says. 
 
“I want to be able to see her smile, or even hear about her frustrations or heartbreak, or whatever her week has dished up,” she explains.  “What I don’t want is to read her week in a text message.  In five or 10 years, will people even interact at all anymore?”
 
As for me, I feel exactly the same way. 
 
That’s why I want to make sure that our Very Big Deal meal stays around for a very long time.   
 
How about you?  I look forward to your thoughts and stories—and maybe recipes—involving Sunday dinners, past
and present! 
 
P.S. No idea about what to fix this weekend?  Here’s an easy peasy spinach lasagna. Add a simple salad and
​loaf of crusty French bread, and you’re ready to gather around the table. 
 
1 lb. whole grain or regular lasagna noodles, boil until soft and pliable.
3-4 bunches of fresh chopped spinach, steam just 2-3 minutes, drain. (But not too soft, so you can still spread
out the leaves)
16 ounce can of tomato sauce
2 cups full fat ricotta cheese
2 cups freshly grated full fat mozzarella
 
Spread a thin layer of tomato sauce on the bottom of a large glass casserole dish. 
Cover sauce with a layer of noodles, add half of the ricotta, then half of the spinach.
Then add one third of the remaining sauce and one third of the mozzarella.
Lay down another layer of noodles, the remainder of the ricotta, the remainder of the spinach, another one third of sauce and another one third of the mozzarella.
Finally, lay out the rest of the noodles, the rest of the sauce, and on the very top, the rest of the mozzarella. 
Bake uncovered at preheated 350 degrees for 40 minutes.
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10 Comments
Larry Grant
6/11/2016 07:21:39 pm

I never tire of our Sunday dinners.

Reply
Hilary
6/11/2016 07:23:52 pm

Ha! Me, neither. :) xo

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leslie spoon
6/12/2016 01:30:32 pm

Hilary Growing up we had dinner together every night. It was not fun! My younger brother and I would argue and kick each other under the table. Then my dad would yell at us. We were also fussy eaters. Why my parents did not give up for adoption is a wonder to me.

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Hilary
6/12/2016 04:11:50 pm

Ha! Well, I give your parents kudos for at least trying to have peaceful family dinners. : )

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George Marshall link
6/16/2016 05:09:18 pm

Your article jogged my memory that we would actually have family council meeting on Sundays where we would discuss any plans that were being made for trips or outings. Also any other family issues and if a decision were to be made it would come to a vote. It was a somewhat democratic process where each parent's vote counted double. We were three of the children's party and therefore the parent party were in the majority.
But it did give us the opportunity to have our say on the family issues, to express ourselves and be heard by the powers that be.
We all knew who had the final say but we were participants.

The Sunday dinners were always good and it was a special time, different from the rest of week, even though we ate together as a family every night unless circumstances dictated otherwise.

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Hilary
6/16/2016 08:31:17 pm

Your comment reminds me of the book Cheaper by the Dozen (and of course, later, the 1950 movie). I believe the book was written by one of the daughters, who wrote about similar family council meetings. It's such a great idea, isn't it? Even though your parents got double the vote, they still gave you kids a forum in which to express your thoughts and opinions. And I liked that they did this on a Sunday. :)

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Susan Jordan
6/18/2016 10:37:24 pm

Nice article! We didn't have a weekly tradition, but we did have special dinners when Mom would make either fried chicken or T-bone steaks. One interesting tradition we had surrounding this was that Mom always brought out the pretty glasses with the blue-and-white pattern on them, and only served us ice water for those special dinners! I have no idea why this is, but having ice water (with ice, by the way, lol) and in special, real-glass glasses made these special meals memorable. (We usually just had milk with dinner.) Mom would also place this pretty, white lace tablecloth on our little dinette set in our tiny eating area of the kitchen. Looking back, I realize it was a very small space, but it didn't feel cramped, for some reason; 'cozy' would be more like it. Mom made amazing fried chicken in an old iron skillet, and the steaks weere never any type but T-bone. Go figure, huh? Thanks for helping bring up an old happy memory! P.S. I love the book "Cheaper by the Dozen".

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Hilary
6/19/2016 12:29:53 pm

I love the little added things your mom did with special dinners. When we had company over, we always had a lace tablecloth and special dishes as well--good china with gold around the edges. I think this tradition is wonderful! And yes, I wonder what the story is behind only having T-bone steaks? (By the way, Taylors Steakhouse in LA has the BEST!)

Reply
James Nolt
6/21/2016 05:07:36 pm

Hilary,

My mom was a great cook, and we always had a delicious Sunday supper. At the time though, what I liked best about Sunday was the TV lineup that came after supper... Lassie, and then Circus Boy or Jack Benny. I even stuck around for Ed Sullivan if he didn't feature too many plate twirlers that week.

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Hilary
6/21/2016 09:46:55 pm

Ed Sullivan was a show our entire family watched (these, in the days when each household had one TV set, in the living room!). I, too, remember that the plate spinners were BORING. As a kid, I also remember it being a melancholy time because it meant that the next day meant school. Funny... once I grew up and found work that I loved, I looked forward to Mondays. :)

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    Hilary Roberts Grant

    Journalist, editor, filmmaker, foodie--and a clown! 
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