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9/24/2019

39 Comments

 
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We moved to Grants Pass, Oregon, eight weeks ago.
 
First and without question, leaving California was The Right Thing To Do.  
 
Our house is on a street only one block long, which means it’s pretty quiet most of the time. There’s a tall blackberry bush in the backyard, as well as a creek three houses away, with the same kind of hedges bordering its banks. I’ve already baked a cobbler and muffins using these luscious berries, and more treats are coming.
 
Other discoveries are the community convenience store with killer grinders; a historic neighborhood of restored turn-of-the-century houses adjacent to mine, and easy freeway access.  I’ve also discovered a yoga studio I love, as well as a hairdresser and massage therapist. 
 
Finding a great supermarket has been trouble free, too. (The Walmart is okay but the Win Co across the street is way better.)  In fact, the 10-minute drive there is one I look forward to, taking me down a winding road with sloping meadows, grazing horses and an old-timey octagonal house, painted forest green and three stories high.     
 
Surprisingly, this small town—a tad under 40,000 folks—is also a foodie’s paradise.
 
The weekly Growers’ Market (called a farmers’ market in California) has more than 80 booths, and Thai, Lebanese and Japanese restaurants are nearby.  Tucked in a strip mall one town over is an itty-bitty Italian kitchen so good that folks have been known to come from San Francisco, a six-hour drive, to check it out. There’s also a terrific diner downtown, where the Hubster and I have had breakfast a few times.  (The tab for our first visit stunned us in the best of ways: the grand total was $12.90.) 
 
The dogs are content as well.     
 
At our old house, Hank ran laps all day in the yard, and barked incessantly at every noise he heard just outside the fence.  Here, he curls up on the cedar deck, taking in the sun and cocking his head at the wind.  Sadie does the same, her brow relaxed, and front paws crossed.   
 
And yet. 
 
I now know that only those who are fiercely determined to move should do so. 
 
In fact, the process was so brutal that it has made my Top 10 List of Most Challenging Life Adventures.
 
Unlike the skedaddling I did in my 20s, which involved a few suitcases and cardboard boxes from a local grocery
store, this required a professional moving company.  Three men and one large van transported furniture for a dining
and living room, master bedroom and two good-sized offices, as well as all the accoutrements. (A tiny sampling:
the almost as-tall-as-me bulletin board, Christmas decorations, vintage floor lamps, Pyrex collection and at
​least two dozen boxes of books).
 
There were other big issues prior to leaving.
 
Mainly, because we needed a large down payment on an Oregon home to get a low mortgage, we had to first sell our California place at the best possible price.
 
To do that, we embarked on a remodel that took close to three years.  (Another tiny sampling: upgrades to the bathrooms and kitchen; new flooring in nearly every room, and having both inside and outside of the house painted.)  Also, because of the terms of our buyer’s lender, the house had to be tented for termites before closing. This meant packing and sealing our food and medicine in two dozen special bags, and then finding another place to live (the dogs, too)
for three anxious days.
  
During this renovation period, we also drove to Oregon to look at houses—four times, 600 miles each way.  Sometimes, we did it in one day. 
 
Except for the final visit, when we found our house, these trips always ended in crushing disappointment; places
that looked great online were very different in person.  We called these “run for the car” houses, and we looked at
more than a dozen.
 
I don’t know how I managed, except that early on, I decided there wasn’t going to be any turning back.  I also learned to take one bite of the elephant at a time. 
 
Now that we’re here, we’re doing a lot to make our house our home.
 
I adore my teal blue kitchen—the 1960s gas stove with Bakelite knobs sold me right away—and with more wall space than before, our many framed pictures are now hung precisely how I’ve always wanted.  My Pyrex collection is on full display in the largest dining area I’ve ever had, and our entertainment cabinet and the Hubster’s rocking chair fit perfectly in the living room.
 
There’s still plenty of work to be done, because there always is when settling into a new place. 

We’re getting there.  Most of all, we’re happy to be doing it right here.  

39 Comments
Larry Grant
9/24/2019 02:15:49 pm

I do really love our home. My favorite place in all the earth.

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Hilary A Grant
9/24/2019 04:09:02 pm

As Gershwin said... "S'wonderful, s'marvelous..." xo

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Kim Fonturbel
9/24/2019 04:27:18 pm

I'm so happy for you Hilary, to me you personify perseverance and resourcefulness~always have since I met you 15+ years ago. You're really amazing and you're missed. So happy for you and Larry. Happy New Home to you two and Hank & Sadie : ) Kim

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Hilary A Grant
9/24/2019 06:37:24 pm

Perseverance and resourcefulness are my middle names. It doesn't mean that I'm not fearful, though. Sometimes, I am. But I do my best to never let that stop me. I miss all of my Los Osos peeps! xo

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Lynda Kamrath
10/3/2019 09:01:09 pm

I have been wanting to get my website back up and see you have weebly. Maybe you can give me some clues for building my website. Los Osos? You were not far from us. We moved from Prunedale (Monterey County) in 2017.

Kim Fonturbel
10/4/2019 08:49:26 pm

We all Miss You Hilary! We Love You and We Appreciate You. We are following through, in carrying on your tradition, in your honor, as best we can, (never could duplicate 'hilary'): "Girls Movie Night"! xo

leslie spoon
9/24/2019 05:00:53 pm

Hilary I am so glad that you and Hank and Sadie are happy there !!

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Hilary A Grant
9/24/2019 06:35:26 pm

We are. But the next blog post will be about the unexpected challenges I hadn't thought about before. : )

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Dyann Burian
9/24/2019 10:09:35 pm

Your home sounds really lovely, looking forward to a visit in the future to see it for myself. Not exactly sure where you are from your description. Moving is always a challenge. I'm glad you like Grants Pass and think you made the perfect decision for you. Glad you are making friends and places of interest. I'm glad we met!

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Hilary A Grant
9/24/2019 10:49:33 pm

I live in the Streeter Commons neighborhood--more often known as Top of Town. Not far from the GP Fire Station on Hillcrest. :) Yes, you will have to see it sooner than later. :)

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Dyann Burian
9/25/2019 12:30:15 am

Have no idea about the neighborhood but I know where the Fire Station is. And Hillcrest. So I can imagine the general area. Nice big homes there.

Hilary A Grant
9/25/2019 09:45:11 am

Not huge. A bit over 1500 square feet. My house in California was 1200 and it was cramped. This is the perfect size. :)

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Susan Stewart
9/25/2019 09:24:48 am

Loved reading about all the happy bits; and especially appreciated the arduous and challenging bits too. As I continue to explore moving to a different country, your cautionary tale warns me that it will not all be great weather and cheap rents. The blackberry bushes, happy dogs, and happy hubster, are the lovely reward for all the work that came before. I am reading and joining facebook and you tube groups in preparation for my move. Still, there will be things I won't anticipate. I only hope there will be mango and magnolia trees, happy cats, and new friends to make the hard stuff worth my while.

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Hilary A Grant
9/25/2019 09:44:07 am

Hi Suze! I had originally used the adjective "challenging" but realized it needed to be more accurate--so it was changed to "brutal." As you know, it would have been impossible to live on a retired income in SLO County, which kept me determined. I neglected to mention our extraordinary realtor up here, James Harbison, who kept us focused and optimistic. We are friends now, too, having lunch every few weeks. And yes, you'll need FB and YouTube to stay connected. My next blog will be about the challenge of making new connections, and finding a new tribe, at our age in a whole new place. Going through that now. It will all be okay in the end, as it is proving to be for me. xo

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Susan J.
9/27/2019 08:01:35 am

I'm happy for you, Hilary! It sounds like you made the right decision. While I love my California Central Coast like crazy (being a Cal Poly SLO grad who first fell in love with SLO and its surrounding area on a special Thanksgiving visit with my mom in 1983), I also spent the summer of my 19th year living just south of Grants Pass, and loving every day of it. Grants Pass as I remember it was a lovely place, and it still sounds lovely from your account. A one-block-long street! I grew up on one, and they rock. I hope you get to know and like all your neighbors, and I hope you get to know and like even more of the town and area. Don't forget to enjoy the Rogue River, and maybe eventually go for a swim in the Illinois! And visit the caves in Cave Junction! And attend the Shakespeare festival in nearby...Medford or Ashland? (I have forgotten.) And soak up all that greenery. Oregon rocks.

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Hilary A Grant
9/27/2019 08:12:01 pm

It's an absolutely gorgeous area and people are very friendly, but not necessarily, "Let's be friends!" friendly. The block is interesting. t As one of our neighbors said when he met Larry at our community mailbox: "Welcome to the neighborhood. We keep to ourselves around here." And then, he just walked away. I'll have to find friends outside of the block. It's a very different dynamic. The challenge of finding a village will be my next blog. I intend to do a lot of visiting around and about the area. Love the little town of Rogue River, and I'll have to get to Cave Junction, too. :)

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Brian
10/3/2019 01:07:27 pm

Hilary, we've been here for 3 years now. When people think about Oregon, Portland, Eugene, and Ashland come to mind. We are in a semi-rural location, and some of the least friendly people have been here for generations. Small towns tend to be mistrustful of newcomers. I moved from the Bay Area. When my kids were in school, we knew everyone. Coming here as an older person takes some doing. No matter where you live, people with common interests and cultures self-segregate and I'm still getting used to it. We have a lot of drugs in the valley. Oregon's high school dropout is the 3rd or 4th worst in the U.S. When we moved here it was easier since our in-laws had been here for many years. They helped us by introducing us around and telling us of local opportunities, groups, etc. I'm semi-retired, still have a small accounting practice, so stay in tough with clients from all over so I don't feel deprived of kindred spirits. I'm trying to cast a wider net locally and meet more people. Things can be stodgy here and not everyone is welcoming. It's a work in progress.

Holly Tibbles
9/27/2019 07:43:02 pm

So glad everything is falling in to place for you. I can just see Hank and Sadie in my mind’s eye, chelaxing on the deck. It wasn’t easy, but, we got ‘er done! Could have been worse, think of the failed escrows in LA!

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Hilary A Grant
9/27/2019 08:13:25 pm

Thanks, Holly! It wasn't easy but we DID it. Lots and lots of steps, which is why I had to break it down into little bites to make it all palatable :)

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Rick Moore
9/28/2019 10:04:15 pm

Well Hillary , I am kind of turned off that I had to give up my e-mail address to comment . I don’t wish to be sold anything , asked for anything , no junk mail , etc. ,etc.
We moved here 3.5 years ago from a little town south of you called Ojai after 35 years there .
Prepare yourself for the winter here !!! My first suggestion. Make plans for Mexico or points south For January or February.
5 months of ugly and 7 months of green and beauty . It would be good to list things that you and family can do when your shut in by rain or snow .... bake a pie from the frozen berries you picked in August . In Feb. plan your garden and start seeds under light . Do some watercolor paintings . Write meaningful letters to friends and family . Take a stroll in the snow after it snows ( always a favorite for my wife and I ) .
There are only about 5-8 days when you are stuck inside . In October the temperature plunged to 20 degrees lower than Los Osos , hovering in the 40’s .
You will certainly see some snow . We were elated when we got 16 inches our first winter here . Since then , just 4-6 inches that melted in a few days .
The summers are hot and one can grow corn , mellons , tomatoes, cukes , squash, potatoes , beautiful peaches and pears etc.
I find it a lovely place , the folks are friendly , the taxes are reasonable... a good place to call home .
Prepare for winter !
Best ,
Rick

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Hilary A Grant
9/28/2019 10:18:47 pm

I don't know why an email address is required, just that this particular server (Weebly) requires it. In any case, thanks so very much for responding! And also, thanks for the suggestions. I plan to do a lot of reading and watching movies--but I also have a watercolor set for those days when I can't go out. I know Ojai well! My husband grew up in Ohio and is looking forward to the four seasons. I lived in NYC for four years so I remember the snow well. It's a new life--and a good one. : )

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Lynda Kamrath link
9/29/2019 07:51:16 pm

We usually don't have many snowy days here but we had snow up to our knees when looking for our house in January 2017. We are thinking of going up to Mt. Hood this winter to snowshoe at Trillium Lake. We went up last month to check out the area and it seems perfect.

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Hilary A Grant
9/29/2019 09:53:51 pm

Well, I have a hard enough time driving in the rain, so I'm hoping I won't have to get chains on my tires. I've been told that when it snows in Grants Pass, you can see the snow on the mountains, but it doesn't stay on the sidewalks for long. Here's hoping that's true!

Lynda Demsher
9/29/2019 10:05:10 am

I've been here five years now, but we lived close to the Oregon border and did most of our shopping and business in Oregon because our small town had little beyond the basics. I've also had family in Oregon a long time...in fact my dad's family came here during the depression to pick fruit. It is interesting to hear from people who are transitioning here. Most are very positive about Grants Pass but I would urge newcomers to get involved...join an interest group: garden club, writers' group, hobby group, or a community improvement group. People here love to make new friends and I have met many now through my participation in the community. Grants Pass is small enough so you can quickly go from being a total stranger everywhere you go to running into friends whenever you go to town.

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Hilary A Grant
9/29/2019 09:57:08 pm

I'm in the process of following your suggestion about joining groups. I've already started volunteer work at the library and am also going to be a SMART Reader, once a week/one hour a week, at Madrone starting next month. Hoping that by this time next year, I'll have found my tribe! :)

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Lynda Kamrath
10/3/2019 09:00:19 pm

Yes, joining groups and doing volunteer work is very effective for getting into the community. Are you a dog person? We are having a doodle romp at Gilbert Dog Park on Hawthorne Street on Saturday at 2:00 - 4:00. Love to have you join us with or without a dog. Everyone is welcome. My other activities are ceramics, CASA, and volunteering at Ft. Vannoy School (art and buddy program). The YMCA has a great salt water pool and a good cardiac and work-out area. So many things to do here and the community is very friendly.

Rachel
9/29/2019 04:39:06 pm

Hi Hilary,

I am only 18-months ahead of you. I relocated here from Sonoma Valley. With the exception of a few out-of-state exploratory living adventures—I’d lived in Sonoma (North Bay) 95% of my half-century on the planet. I did not realize I was living such a sheltered life in my liberal bubble. And that it was actually quite lovely.

I was in for a culture shock moving here. My main personality trait is openness. That didn’t fly so well here.

For many years I was a patient at Kaiser East Bay—I have complex health issues. When I moved here, the medical providers assigned to me decided I did not need to be on my (2) psychiatric medications. Stigma is alive and well here. With the combo of winter and my serotonin levels plummeting—for the first time in my life, I became suicidal. I begged for help from my providers and told them clearly I was terrified and not feeling safe (from myself) at all. If I had expressed that in CA, I would have been 51, and possibly 5250’d, for my own safety.

I came across only harshness and judgment. Finally, because there in no psychiatric care here—and many are suffering—by the grace of the Divine I came under the care of a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner—in Wisconsin. It is very expensive, and I truly can’t afford it, but the other option is pretty grim. I am improving steadily—back to painting, drawing, and actually community college.

This has just been my experience—but I have talked with many other people who know exactly what I’m talking about, from experience.

My son-in-law is from San Luis Obispo, by the way, it is so gorgeous.

Moving is tremendously challenging, especially that far and to a very different place. Your blog really caught my attention—and I hope you love it here. I am learning to be grateful for what IS here. And my dog absolutely loves it here too!

Take care, Rachel

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Hilary A Grant
9/29/2019 10:01:59 pm

I'm also very much an extrovert but so far, am finding that a lot of people prefer to keep to themselves. But as I find my tribe, I am hoping to meet like-minded people. I'm glad I have all of my pals on Facebook to help me through the transition. And yes, SLO is gorgeous--and is also one of the most expensive places in the U.S. to live now, because the wages haven't kept up w/ the cost of living. Gas is now more than $4 per gallon, and you can't find a decent house to rent in SLO for under $3,000 per month. We could live there as long as we were working, but on a retirement income, no way. Having said that, GP reminds us a lot of SLO. Just about the same population, but a LOT better places to eat! : )

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Brian
10/3/2019 12:55:47 pm

Rachel, I know what you're up against. I moved here 3 years ago and found that there is no psychiatric care in the valley. I'm from the East Bay too, and it's easy to find treatment. It's not even called psychiatry here, but Behavioral Medicine. I don't need much help, only prescriptions for meds. I've been taking the same regimen for Bipolar II for decades and I know what works. Here, the best way to get meds is to already know what you need, and let your primary fill prescriptions. That's who dispenses the meds here. We also have a huge problem with meth and opiates, and the mental health care is directed towards them. As you've already noticed, in this semi-rural location, most of the providers are PAs or NPs. To find a doc in certain professions, good luck. In my opinion, if you have a new mental health issue or condition, a doc should have oversight on the meds. It works differently here. BTW, I've been on the Asante waiting list for a doc for 2 years. It only takes a 15-minute appt. once a year for me. I'll keep giving my shopping list to my primary for refills, since that's the way the game is played here.

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Hilary A Grant
10/3/2019 07:50:30 pm

I came from San Luis Obispo County and getting any sort of mental health care help there is also difficult. Perhaps not so coincidentally, the City of San Luis Obispo is about the same size as Grants Pass. Dear friends of mine had a most difficult time navigating help from their troubled teenager. She had not committed any crimes, but desperately needed help. I know that they had to go one county south to get it for her but it still wasn't great. We have a crisis in availability of good mental health care in this country overall. That, of course, can be another blog post. : )

Lynda Kamrath link
9/29/2019 07:48:20 pm

Hilary - loved your blog and it sounds a lot like us. We moved to Grants Pass from Monterey County two years ago. House hunting sounded so familiar. We thought we had bought a house in Williams (paid a deposit and got all the inspections) only to discover the realtor had sold it to someone else as we arrived here with three dogs and three pods of furniture. We spent two months in hotels until we finally found our dream home. We are enjoying our new lives here. Question. What kind of dog(s) do you have? I'm asking because I am the doodle rescue person here in Southern Oregon and we are having a doodle romp next Saturday at Gilbert dog park on Hawthorne Street (by the tennis courts). Love to have you and your dogs join us. All breeds are welcome at our doodle romp. It is on Oct. 5, from 2:00 - 4:00. Hope to meet you there.

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Hilary A Grant
9/29/2019 10:08:54 pm

Wow, that was a HORRIBLE moving experience. So glad you decided to stick it out.. and hoping you were able to lodge some sort of formal complaint against the realtor. We lucked out with an amazing realtor, who kept me focused and optimistic, even when I wasn't. I live very close to Gilbert Creek Park but our dogs are not sociable with other dogs--Hank is a hound mix and Sadie is an Anatolian shepherd. They're great w/ each other, though, so I'm glad they have one another, and that I have them. I might stop by to say hello, though! :)

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Deb Harpster
10/2/2019 11:48:22 am

hola hilary! you have expressed the very same sentiments i have felt since moving here from ojai ... yup, with rick moore, my husband! i love how you reached out to peeps and have received positive feedback, too. i would definitely enjoy meeting you and other ex- pats🤭 soon. i would be happy to host a suare’ at our house or ??? 🙋🏻‍♀️deb

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Hilary A Grant
10/2/2019 08:27:17 pm

Oh, a get-together at your place sounds great! I can bring some food, too... maybe a small pot luck? :)

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kerri fisher
10/6/2019 03:46:35 pm

Sounds heavenly - I wish I could taste your baked berry treats!
xoxo

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Hilary A Grant
10/7/2019 12:44:23 pm

You can when you visit. xo

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kerri
11/22/2019 03:33:43 pm

YAY!!

andrea peck
11/16/2019 09:32:07 pm

Awww, this story puts the 'sweet' in 'home sweet home.' Love it!

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Hilary A Grant
11/17/2019 10:06:35 pm

Aww, thanks!

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    Hilary Roberts Grant

    Journalist, editor, filmmaker, foodie--and a clown! 
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