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Offerings

11/19/2016

16 Comments

 
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As America goes careening into Thanksgiving, here’s what I know right now.  
 
Those of us who voted did so.  Those of us who made the choice to not vote—this wasn’t me, but there were certainly
a myriad of mindful reasons to take this path—also did so. 
 
As a result, this means that while it looks like we’re engaging in a kind of heavy-duty mass resistance (the likes of which I have never seen before in my adult lifetime, and a movement that I applaud), the fact is also this: the deed is done. 
 
​I think we can agree, too, that there’s an epic circus of fear and uncertainty swirling around us.  And because the
United States is what it is—the most powerful country on the planet—our justified trembling is echoing and rumbling
around the world.
 
Perhaps, time and love and kindness will bring some healing and reconciliation in the coming months; one can only hope.
 
But in the meantime, we can all do something that I talked about, but never really did the walk about, until I married
The Hubster.
 
Trust me: taking this action will give us all a little more control and connection, and might even make us feel better.
 
It’s making the determination to make a monetary offering, which has a host of other names, including charity,
help and assistance. 
 
I first heard about it as a small child in Sunday school, in Hebrew, as Tzedakah (sa-DOCK-a).  No matter how it’s sliced,
in modern times, it means the act of voluntarily giving away money.   
 
In that long ago class, this meant turning in loose change.  I was too young to question where the coins ended up, but thinking about it now, it wouldn’t surprise me if at least some weren’t handed out later to poorer congregants (which absolutely included our family).  
 
As I grew, I saw that my parents could make ends meet, but I also saw that they could rarely go beyond this boundary. Consequently, our motto was this: charity begins at home.  And frankly, that’s how I spent the first half of my adult life.  After all, there are always sparkly new things out there; credit card bills to pay down, and I really, really wanted a new car.  
 
I never questioned this way of living, perhaps because I was working in the entertainment industry, and maybe, too, because pretty much everyone I knew operated the same way.
 
The Hubster has changed this. 
 
When we started dating, I learned that he donated hundreds of dollars every month to the church where we had met (this was also at a time when his business was booming).  It made sense: he was recently widowed and after joining the choir there, found a village that provided a safe space of recovery and comfort.  It was the right thing to do.
 
Giving that amount of money hasn’t been in our budget for a long time now.   
 
But in the almost dozen years we’ve been a couple, we’ve continued to do our best to do good in a monetary way, even when our giving has been small. 
 
Because really, the amount of these offerings isn’t the point.
 
What does count is simply the act itself—as well as choosing a cause that speaks to your heart.
 
Keeping this in mind, we don’t jump around from charity to charity.  Rather, we stick to one or two organizations, and then support them for at least six months—often longer.  With this template, we’ve been able to connect to whatever the group is trying to accomplish, as well as feel invested in its success.     
 
At the same time, we choose organizations which match our values and life experience.  
 
To that end, and for many years, we gave $20 every month to All Girls Allowed (www.allgirlsallowed.org), a small but mighty non-profit founded by Tiananmen Square leader and two-time Nobel Prize nominee Chai Ling. Working on the ground in China, AGA lets the rest of the world know about the many millions of baby girls who are “lost” very single year to forced late-term abortions, abandonment and gendercide.   In a place where females are considered to be less than males in every way, AGA also supports infant girls and their mothers, both emotionally and materially.  
 
Given that our daughter could have easily been part of this awful scenario, donating to AGA just made sense.    
 
Most recently, we’ve been supporting another non-profit.   
 
It’s Pets for Vets (www.petsforvets.com), an organization that matches shelter dogs with veterans who suffer from PTSD, traumatic brain injury, depression and anxiety. Founded by animal trainer Clarissa Black (who has a B.A. in Animal Science and a master’s degree in Anthrozoology), Black first became aware of the calming effect that dogs have on vets when she worked at a Veterans Affairs hospital in California.
 
Also knowing that millions of canines end up in shelters each year, Black then came up with a brilliant idea: why not find homes for these abandoned dogs with some of these vets, bringing comfort and healing to both?  Given how much love we’ve received from our own rescue dogs, and also wanting to help the true heroes of our country beyond a bumper sticker, Pets for Vets is absolutely our kind of group.  (Get some Kleenex, then watch its direct impact on clients here, at www.yahoo.com/news/video/shelter-dogs-helping-u-veterans-150022938.html.)  
 
Finally, here’s the funny thing about giving away money.  
 
Doing it makes us feel good. 
 
Maybe that’s because, in its own small way, these offerings make us realize that it is possible to make an impact on a corner of a corner of a corner of the world—and that when we do, we still have each other’s backs.
 
And in this most unusual of times, that’s A Very Good Thing.
 
What are your thoughts on the act of giving?  I look forward to your comments and stories!   
 
P.S. Thinking of supporting a charitable organization, but don’t know where to start?  Begin with www.charitynavigator.org.


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16 Comments
kerri
11/19/2016 02:51:59 pm

https://www.inverse.com/article/23698-john-oliver-donate-trump-list-president

I like this list. It is mostly for minorities and disenfranchised.

Reply
Hilary
11/19/2016 03:37:11 pm

I'm a big fan of John Oliver's, so I'm sure this list has been fully vetted. Those looking to be both kind, and to fight, might find this very helpful. Thank you!

Reply
Larry Grant
11/19/2016 03:59:53 pm

The one known as the hubster here. What I'm sharing here is beyond my understanding but is our experience. Giving. Be it money, service or simply a caring presence reaps rewards that go way beyond the "material". A writer friend of mine put it this way,"It is my mitzvah. It is my duty to..."
It is up to each of us to find a way to fill in the dots in our own unique way.

Reply
Hilary
11/19/2016 04:10:18 pm

All spot on. One more thing: until one actually *starts* practicing the idea of offerings--and I think most of us can put together $5 every month, or even $1--you won't get to know what a wonderful, belly warming experience it really is. xo

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Jim Nolt link
11/19/2016 05:58:46 pm

Hilary, for more than 30 years, the organization to which I've given most often is the Myasthenia Gravis Foundation. You probably know that this organization was founded by Jane Ellsworth, and that George Reeves was national chairperson in 1955. It not only feels good to give... it feels good to carry on George's work.

Reply
Hilary
11/19/2016 09:05:35 pm

Yes, somewhere in the nether regions of my brain, I did know that! And just as this post points out, you are donating to an organization that you have a strong connection with. A Very Good Thing, indeed. :)

Reply
George Marshall link
11/19/2016 07:52:13 pm

Thank you.

Reply
Hilary
11/19/2016 09:06:21 pm

Well... THANK YOU for being a loyal fan of Girl Clown Dancing. :)

Reply
Kim Fonturbel
11/19/2016 09:59:30 pm

Great article as usual! Giving, being of service, & sharing your gifts with your neck of the woods or larger, feeds the soul. One of the many ways we do this at our house is local 4H where we do holiday meals for veterans, valentines cookies & cards for meals on wheels folks as well as other community enriching events. Its a wonderful program.

Reply
Hilary
11/19/2016 10:36:33 pm

Exactly! As Larry wrote at the beginning of this thread, it doesn't have to be money. Rather, it's all about what works for you when it comes to connecting the dots of helping those in need... whether it's in your immediate community, or on the other side of the planet. As I've gotten older, too, I find that material things don't matter to me the way they used to... I would rather use the money I might have spent on a new pair of leggings to help match a hurting vet with a shelter dog. :)

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Jamie Lewis link
11/20/2016 10:39:15 am

Thank you Hilary for another wonderful and inspiring blog. You give in so many ways and I'm thankful for you. And your hubster ;)

Reply
Hilary
11/20/2016 11:33:31 am

Thank you for supporting this blog! Right now, in this most surreal of times, we can only do our best. :)

Reply
leslie spoon
11/20/2016 02:43:05 pm

Hilary When my parents died I started giving money to the Santa Barbara Bird Sanctuary. I was never able to afford it before. They take in parrots that have been abused and others that need a home. I have a parrot that I love more than life it self so it means a lot to me. Most of the time they have so many parrots that they cannot take in anymore. There is a very good movie on what these birds go through called "Parrot Confidential" . Anyhow at least I feel that I am making a difference in one small part of the world.

Reply
Hilary
11/20/2016 03:06:13 pm

You ARE making a difference And, this non-profit speaks to your heart, which is **exactly** how it has to be when you decide to give. For those who want more info about this awesome group, go to http://www.sbbird.org/. Turns out this organization welcomes visitors, too... we should go sometime! ;)

Reply
Karen
11/20/2016 05:25:08 pm

Wonderful, timely topic! We give every year to a fund that helps families on the Pine Ridge Reservation buy propane in the winter, and other energy needs throughout the year. We also donate to Partners in Health, an organization started by Dr. Paul Farmer, which continues to provide services to Haiti, especially rural areas, with hospitals and clinics. They get money every time I use Amazon Smile as well. You can chose an organization you wish to help through their program. I think statistics show that much of the day yo day giving in this country is done by the less well off! My giving has changed radically as I have become disillusioned with old standby organizations that have shown they are really good at collecting, but not so good at handing it out! I always appreciate hearing about new opportunities. Oh, and Planned Parenthood is a great every day donation must!

Reply
Hilary
11/20/2016 05:50:58 pm

I know of Dr. Paul Farmer, and his work is amazing. Like so many in this thread, you have picked organizations that have a passion for "the corner" you hope to make a difference in. And it doesn't surprise me, at all, if the less well off of us are the ones who proportionally give the most. I feel the same way about the standby organizations, too.

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    Hilary Roberts Grant

    Journalist, editor, filmmaker, foodie--and a clown! 
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