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New York, New York

5/1/2016

29 Comments

 
Picture
PicturePart of a New York City subway map.
 
​My daughter and I have just returned from another planet.
 
To be clear, NASA didn’t recruit a weary Clown Mother and her teenage Clown Daughter to see how long they could survive on a space station without killing each other. 
 
But, we have recently spent nearly a week together in New York City, and coming from a sweet California beach town, where the noises of the night are coyotes and the wind, not sirens and folks shouting outside our windows, it really is another universe.
 
Here, in the place where jeans are called dungarees; frosting is icing, and purses are pocketbooks, we walked at least 50 blocks every day.  We also climbed many flights of stairs and ate astonishingly good food.  And we bought Metrocards, which allowed us to ride buses and subways to pretty much wherever we wanted to go.  We also found out that nothing is ever north or south, but uptown, downtown and crosstown.
 
We got really good at crossing streets in spite of red lights, too, and silently ducking into restaurants when we were desperate for a bathroom.  At one point, after yet another amazing dinner, this one in Chinatown, a double decker bus full of out-of-towners flew by.  One of my friends waved and said, “Hello tourists!  Look at the real New Yorkers down here!"

 
In fact, I have lived and worked in The Big Apple.
 
I was in my early 20s, and I’d finally snagged my journalism degree.  I knew what I wanted to do, which was write for a national magazine (I’d already sold my first piece to Seventeen).  There was, of course, no Internet, and since all of the publications I wanted to be a part of were in Manhattan, I simply left California and relocated there.
 
I stayed for nearly four years, working first as a secretary, but eventually landed writing and editing positions with a couple of small magazines, including the now defunct, in-house publication for CBS.    
 
But because I had nothing to compare the experience to, I didn’t know until much later that those were some of New York City’s toughest times. 
 
Streets were dirty; bag ladies were everywhere, and subway cars often broke down.  No one smiled or looked each other in the eye for fear of being followed. I also remember the huge cockroaches in the first place I lived, a tiny studio in the East Village, at the edge of Alphabet City.  And I recall, too, going to a neighborhood bodega and right there at the cash register, seeing rat traps for sale. 
 
In short, New York City was a super hard and mostly lonely place to live in, and I survived not because I was particularly brave, but because I was very young and very naïve.        
 
Things seemed different now.
 
Yes, it’s still a tough place to make one’s way, but one thing that made this visit so enjoyable was how friendly
everyone was.
 
Whether that’s because of a different mayor (Ed Koch was in charge then; now it’s Bill de Blasio), or different priorities (keep the streets clean, find beds for the homeless), I don’t know.  However, I absolutely believe that the extraordinary group trauma of 9/11 also left New Yorkers with a new sense of vulnerability, and consequently, has made it a kinder place.
 
We found this, in little ways, everywhere.
 
There was our first morning in Manhattan, when the bus was the best way to reach our destination. 
 
When it pulled up, we offered our Metrocards to the driver, who gruffly—although not unkindly—told us that “you have to pay outside.”  Huh?  Exiting apologetically, we saw a machine in which to insert our cards for bus fare.  We asked a bystander to show us what to do, and—something that never would have happened years before—she looked directly at us, then demonstrated what needed to be done.
 
Then there was the night we washed our clothes.
 
The friend whose apartment we were lucky enough to stay at doesn’t have a washer and dryer, and there’s no laundry room either (these amenities are not common, especially in older buildings).  So, we did what our friend does: walked four blocks to Baby Girl’s Bubbles & Cleaners (www.babygirlsbubbles.com).   
 
Once inside, we discovered that coins wouldn’t work.
 
Instead, the attendant on duty (a job that simply isn’t seen here) asked us how much wash we had.  We showed her our small bag, and she explained that “that’s about five dollars.”  She patiently led us over to a machine, which, after we put in our money, spit out what looked like a credit card.  We then used the card to do both our wash (28 minutes) and drying (24 minutes). 
 
Shopping for groceries was an adventure as well.
 
Half a block downtown from Baby Girl’s is Best Market—a lot like Whole Foods, but a whole lot better (http://bestmarket.com/stores/harlem/#.VyDwmPkrLIU).  We saw all kinds of bagels prepared in all sorts of ways; several varieties of pizzas, wraps and sandwiches, and even a counter for hot barbecue and traditional sides.  That’s just the street level.  Downstairs, the place was packed to the gills with produce, dairy and baking needs.  (Because it doesn’t take much to amuse me, I was especially fascinated by a miniature escalator made expressly for grocery carts to travel upstairs to the cash registers.)  Oh, and here, too, folks were friendly.            
  
And of course, there’s the eating out.     
 
I didn’t worry about gaining weight because of all of the walking.  (In fact, unlike my town, it’s rare to see morbidly obese people here.)   So I indulged in taro and egg custard ice cream from the Chinatown Ice Cream Factory (www.chinatownicecreamfactory.com); inhaled dim sum at the oldest New York restaurant of its kind in the same neighborhood (http://nomwah.com/), and near Columbia University, gobbled up one of the best bagels ever at Absolute Bagel (http://www.yelp.com/biz/absolute-bagels-new-york). 
 
There was also wonderful chicken pot pie from Serendipity (www.serendipity3.com); heavenly matzo ball soup and monstrous pastrami sandwiches at the Carnegie Deli (http://carnegiedeli.com), and The Best Blueberry Cheesecake Ever from Junior’s in Brooklyn (www.juniorscheesecake.com).
 
I mustn’t forget the cupcakes at the original Magnolia Bakery on Bleeker Street (www.magnoliabakery.com), or my stroll through the Grand Central Market, which can only be described as the ultimate destination for foodies lucky enough to be on a champagne budget (www.thekitchn.com/a-tour-of-grand-central-market-77027). Our final meal was an exquisite spread at a Mediterranean restaurant in the heart of Greenwich Village (http://memeonhudson.com).   
 
Looking back on our visit, I came away with two big things.
 
One, living in Manhattan is ridiculously expensive. 
 
Rents are ludicrous ($3,500 per month for a small one-bedroom apartment is the norm; I paid $350 for my huge place that had a view of the Statue of Liberty), as is entertainment and just about every other living expense.  But for those who are young, and especially for those who are young with money to burn, it’s a virtual playground for the senses.
 
Two, I keep thinking of that famous song about New York City, appropriately titled New York, New York. 
 
Everything about this tune is spot on.  But for me, the best part is the lyric that goes, “If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere.  It’s up to you, New York, New York!”  
 
I know that’s true, because once upon a time, this California girl clown had a pretty good run in The City That Never Sleeps.  I’m also of the mindset that every just-out-of-school person with the will and moxie should try and do the same. 
 
That being said, I’m very happy to be back in our little town, and especially happy that my washing machine is a few steps from my kitchen. 
 
But I also think this was a journey my daughter won’t soon forget. 
 
Just a few hours into our flight home, she turned to me and said, “Mom? Mom?  I have something to tell you.
 
“I am missing New York right now.”    
 
Have you lived and/or visited New York City?  I look forward to hearing your stories about The Big Apple!    

Picture
Especially for gourmet foodies
Picture
Inside, the most wonderful ice cream in the world!
29 Comments
Jerry
5/1/2016 02:09:38 pm

Went to grad school and lived in Manhattan through the end of the 70s, and then took what was supposed to be a short sabbatical in Los Angeles that turned into, well, what looks like the rest of my life! I often wonder how different my life would have been had I stayed in New York – and yes, I do miss it terribly… And wish it weren't so damned expensive…

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Hilary
5/1/2016 03:31:31 pm

Because I'm a California native, I *knew* that I would eventually return to the West Coast... I just didn't know when. It's such a super-intense place to LIVE than out here. And... the folks who are in rent-controlled apartments are now feeling the squeeze, because landlords know they can slap a coat of paint on and get tons more money. Many, many, MANY people are in that precarious situation now. Very much like what's going on the Bay Area.

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Jackie
5/1/2016 02:29:08 pm

What a great review of our fair city! Glad that you and K were able to enjoy the experience of a week in Gotham. It was fun seeing NYC through your eyes, especially since it was Clown Girl's daughter's first swing though. Last week, I paid a visit to Little Italy, looking for a "slice." I asked a restaurant "hawker" where I could find the best pizza. "Go up the block. It'll be right there. Sal's. Best pizza around. " I asked, "On what street?" He responded, "Up the block. It will be RIGHT there." I asked again, "Which side of the street?" Getting annoyed, he answered, "UP THE BLOCK! IT WILL JUMP RIGHT OUT AT YOU!!" Aw right, aw right...fuhgeddaboudit. Gotta heart this place.

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Hilary
5/1/2016 03:34:09 pm

LOL! As you know, that was the ONLY NYC treat we hoped to experience and just... ran out of time. Sooo, I have to know... how was Sal's? :)

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Jackie
5/2/2016 05:38:38 pm

Sal's did me good. Shared my table with a couple from Belgium. After we exchanged our terrorist stories (what an AWFUL thing to have to talk about), I asked them what they thought of NY; the people, subways, noise, etc. They were having the experience of a lifetime. I sometimes feel like a tourist when I venture in (and especially when I get lost, in spite of GPS.) There is always something new to discover.

Hilary
5/2/2016 08:23:09 pm

This is it. OMG! http://www.salslittleitaly.com/menu/

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Burt Mendes
5/1/2016 09:38:48 pm

Hilary has, as usual, hit the bulls-eye. NYC has always been a singular place. Having resided there for the first 25 years of my life, I can say Hilary has captured the unique feel of NYC in her lively essay. Her writing makes me feel homesick. I haven't been back there for four years, but its magnet attraction is pulling at me.

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Hilary
5/1/2016 10:05:53 pm

I've been to other big cities, too, but Gotham is SPECIAL. And, it always has been. Here's the YouTube video you sent me--driving in the City in 1928. The stunt-like driving is part of a Harold Lloyd film, of course, but one can still get a great POV of NYC back in the day! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkqz3lpUBp0

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Loree
5/1/2016 10:19:21 pm

Not sure if it's my California upbringing with wide open spaces or claustrophobia but I've never had a desire to travel to New York. I will say that your story has me rethinking never.

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Hilary
5/2/2016 09:14:18 am

If you have the dough to stay in a beautiful hotel, or a friend's spacious apartment, it makes a huge difference. It also helps to have friends there who can show you around. But, yeah, it's a place that I think everyone should experience at least once in his/her lifetime! I don't know if/when my daughter will return, but I'm so happy that I was able to give this trip to her. :)

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Carol Stern
5/2/2016 03:20:01 pm

I LOVE N.Y. I'm a Bronx girl born and raised now living in the same lovely California beach town as Hilary. I love my small town life but New York City is such an integral part of me. I visit there when I can and thrill at the excitement and joy everywhere. I breathe it in as a walk the city streets. So much to see, and do, and eat. Your piece really captured the magic of that city.

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Hilary
5/2/2016 03:53:51 pm

It is absolutely a place for all of the senses to enjoy, isn't it? Too bad it's too expensive for most of us these days.

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leslie spoon
5/3/2016 08:41:20 am

Hilary I love New York!!! My first time there was for New Years Eve. What a day that was. We took the train there early in the morning from Philly. We hit up everything that day and we got to go to the roof of the World Trade Center. They had tours then for those buildings. This was in the late 70`s. The people were so nice. We spent New Years Eve at Times Square. It was really exciting. Four years later I moved to downtown Baltimore and had the time of my life. We lived in a new high rise and the rent was only $250.00 a month. I never got mugged and the people were really nice there too. I miss the East Coast and the food there.

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Hilary
5/3/2016 10:16:06 am

A whirlwind DAY in New York!

Reminds me of the 1949 movie "It's A Wonderful Town" with Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra. Here's the title song! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7CIgWZTdgw

BTW, you were there during a not-great time for the City, so I'm so glad folks were nice to you. :)

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kerri
5/3/2016 10:59:45 am

I want to go! With you! Or I wish I could go, and take my family. It sounds amazing. And the food.... yum yum! Thanks for taking me there with your blog. Another great topic, and very entertaining.

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Hilary
5/3/2016 02:38:58 pm

Ha! Who knows... I might be going again. The key is to have friends to stay with, and also help guide you around; otherwise, it really is beyond reach. Somehow I thought that you've been before?

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Lorraine Dansky
5/3/2016 07:14:32 pm

Wonderfully written! So glad to know that you and Katie really enjoyed your NYC experience. As native New Yorkers, my husband and I wish we could afford to live closer to NYC. But, as you aptly explain, the costs are ridiculously high. Living about 75 miles north of NYC we are lucky to be able to visit often. But, we do tire of the drive!

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Hilary
5/3/2016 09:07:46 pm

Yes, you ARE lucky!

But also, being native New Yorkers, it might be hard to imagine how those of us who weren't raised in NY, or never got to visit NY as kids, feel about it.

For us, The City is THE City, full of magic and yet-to-be-fulfilled dreams. I don't regret a second of the time I lived there, because it made me KNOW that I really could live anywhere after that. :)

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George Marshall link
5/4/2016 07:45:39 pm

That's a wonderful story of the week you and your daughter spent in Manhattan Hilary. What a great thing to do for your daughter. I'm sure she will never forget.

I have been twice and really loved it. Also a lot of our family history is from Manhattan, my dad's birthplace. Like you my grandmother went there as a young woman to start her budding career as a model and an actress and met my grandfather who a director of light opera. Skip a generation and my daughter as a young woman made her way to NYC to break into her career as an artist.
It certainly is no longer the mean streets of New York and what when I was there ten years ago was being called gentrification has had a lot to do with it. It's a young people's town and it is amazing the migration of young people from around the country that take them there.
It's exciting and fast paced. Just walking through the busy streets is a thrill. I loved the museums, cafes, music, the park, the sidewalk entertainment, the Polish neighborhood in Brooklyn, Greenpoint, where I stayed. All of it. A tremendous time.

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Hilary
5/4/2016 08:09:20 pm

Yup, you can feel the energy just walking down the street. I have mixed feelings about gentrification... I know that a lot of folks have moved an hour or two away, still able to go into the City, with some areas that were once old mill towns becoming revitalized by the artists who now live there... artists who can no longer afford to live in New York City. I wish I knew the answer, but I will say that Gotham definitely feels a lot safer now than when I lived there. And yes, I hope this is an adventure my daughter will always remember! :)

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George link
5/5/2016 05:10:50 pm

Most people have mixed feelings about gentrification. I didn't mentioned it because I was in favor of it. It's what has happened there.

Larry Grant
5/7/2016 02:07:10 pm

Glad you both went. Glad Our daughter got her senior trip. Glad you didn't kill each other. Glad your home!

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Hilary
5/7/2016 02:33:32 pm

Haha! Lots of "glads" there! xo

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Nancy Shaw
5/8/2016 10:08:54 am

Hi Hillary, nice story. Although I grew up in Suffolk County, Long Island, NY until 13 and then lived in the foothills of the Adirondacks above the Mohawk Valley till I was 21, I had only been to New York City 2-3 times. To us, NYC was like another country, a foreign land; it was so different from the rest of New York state. Two years ago this month, I was lucky enough to take a trip to stay in Manhattan where my M.D. nephew is getting his psychiatry specialty- he'll be an official psychiatrist later this month. We had a fantastic time in NYC, the food was incredible, the ballet beautiful, walking across Brooklyn Bridge was amazing except for me getting separated from my family and without my cell phone! (longer story there). We also took the Long Island Rail Road to visit our old home in Brookhaven where my Aunt Toots was now living (and since has passed away) and Patchogue. It was still beautiful there and I cried when I saw the old chimney-like stone property marker still standing and the woods across from our home still there like when I was little. It was a great trip. New York, New York... :)

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Hilary
5/8/2016 12:20:59 pm

Thank you, Nancy! Yup, you completely pegged it: New York City is truly **another land**--entirely separate from the state of New York. Funny that post World War II, everyone wanted to move out of NYC and get out to Long Island and the suburbs past that. Now, for those who can afford it, it's the opposite. Perhaps the best of both worlds is to be no more than an hour away, where, if you wanted, you could enjoy the City at your leisure... but then come back to the quiet, and space, of the suburbs. This is what one of my friends does, and I think she has the best of both worlds.

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Susan Jordan
5/9/2016 08:39:31 pm

Hilary, what a great story! That was fun to read. I visited New York City exactly once in the past - on my 26th birthday (but that was just a coincidence). I went with my then-fiancé's graduate theatre program group at the University of Delaware. We took three vans to get there, and watched Hal Holbrook play King Lear off Broadway. Afterward, we took taxis to Greenwich Village, where we all had dinner at some restaurant whose name I no longer remember, then walked around for hours, soaking up every second of this town that never seemed to close. I think we all left for home after 1am, and the City was still going strong. I tried hard the whole time not to gape too much at the wonderful architecture and every other thing of fascination about the place as we strolled everywhere. It was a fantastic day, and a great way to spend your 26th birthday. :)

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Hilary
5/9/2016 09:00:17 pm

OH, yes! What a terrific way to spend your birthday! I, too, was blown away by the amazing architecture... all of the artistry of so many buildings, even ones that boast those sort of scary, bug eyed gargoyles! I didn't include the fact that I also got to show my daughter, however briefly, the magnificent interior of Grand Central Station, or that we spent a day in Central Park--and rode the restored carousel. Absolutely glorious!

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Christine
6/17/2016 05:22:58 pm

I grew up in NYC in the 60s and 70s, and have lived elsewhere (including SoCal!) For the past 30 years. I visit a,couple of times a year, but don't think I could ever live there again. Besides the cost, I'm just used to a more sedate pace. I can handle the subway, but often wish I was on my back porch ;-)

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Hilary
6/17/2016 06:27:42 pm

Unless you're a multi-multi-multi millionaire, it's a very tough place to live. A friend of mine lives in Oyster Bay, about 45 minutes away, on Long Island. It seems like the perfect middle ground if you need the sedate lifestyle, but also crave the excitement that is NYC. I also love all of those little towns on the Hudson River, where you're just an hour or so away. Congers looks nice, too!

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    Hilary Roberts Grant

    Journalist, editor, filmmaker, foodie--and a clown! 
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